He says it often
When I go to his office
“Have fun,” no reply –
I choke back derision, tears,
Another lifetime maybe;
Someone, not myself,
Loneliness consumes my hope
Popcorn kernels devoured
By shadows made shades of days
Spent uselessly trying to find
A moment shaped like escape.
Happiness I have held
Newborn in my hands, nursed
It, gave it the best of me;
Now, it riddles off deficiencies
Destroying the myth of my success,
Once counted against hurts flung
Like arrows before and become
My brokenness, where I dwell
A crab hidden in a brittle shell
With crumbly walls and places
Where the water gets in, annoying,
Terrifying as the passage, days.
Sleepless with suffering, pain,
Exhaustion tears leisure
Fun away, running me to circles
Deep purple, blue-black under eyes
Which watched cherished dreams
Disperse with those vowed forever.
Dare I try?
Will time perhaps give me this
Yet more, the joy of Love redeemed;
I guess it might be like tomorrow,
Known, but not presently seen,
A work in progress, to be inspired,
A vision unrequited, still afire,
A belief that is never let die.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan