Somewhat a Block

Day 15: 2020 Creativity Project


It was a day! Awakened by a dear friend who requested I write a poem and also read it in public. No pressure, right?

If you think that, I have not made myself clear. It is after 11pm, and I have not begun. I almost skipped this website entry, and it is a commitment. Anxiety.

I did go to town with my son for lunch and necessity shopping. While the whole time, the resistance to doing the poem built.

I know I can do it. I write all the time. I am afraid of disappointing my friend and embarrassing myself in front of a gathering. I committed to it, though, so do it, I must. How do I write something outstanding? It must be more than just a poem, it must reach hearts, every heart. No pressure, right?

How do I stand up and present what I created? I am not a compelling speaker, I rush. This is important, though, and therein lies the fear, fear of such failure I lose face.

I did not get to so much today. I did no art, I ate disgracefully, but I read The Raven and Lenore by Edgar Allan Poe. The hope was that reading them aloud would prime whatever it is that writes poems. I also read stories in the latest issue of GRANTA, which is my all-time favorite magazine, each issue a book, glorious. Reading is supposed to calm me. Sometimes it makes my inferiorities bolder for me to see.

I share this because creatives struggle sometimes. Making something out of thin air is magic, hard to master.

I am going to do this poem. I am going to present it. God help me, even if I do not believe I can.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

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