A Pardon

I do not forgive
Myself a single evil
The shame, guilt, riot;
Peace, like a snow-white dove, flees,
Its presence is often foreign to me.
If I allow some pleasant dream
To linger, spreading love within
My wretched ebon starless soul,
The incessant voices will insist
I am wrapped in delusion reading
Positivity where none abides.
My tenacious unforgiveness would
Kill me, were I never halfway able
To believe Jesus is on my side;
Love, though at times I fail
To recognize because of a mind
Almost drowned in a gulch full
Of mistakes, failures, horrid
Transgressions that append despair,
Oh, Lord, precious Lord, be You near.
The shield I raise to conquer
All these damaging despondencies
Blazes with Christ set flames
My freedom to ensure from each toxin,
Every torment, vicious pain, all fears,
That would pierce, destroy me
Heart and soul.
You, my Lord, make me
Powerful, whole, encourage bravery, boldness,
Inspire me to reach beyond me
For Love, the hope of Heaven, and success;
Lord in You, I find a desire to continue on,
Despite the darkest shadows of all hours.

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This was written because of a prompt in Writing The Life Poetic, which is an excellent poetry craft and inspiration book. I have to have prompts from time to time too.

It is interesting how the suggestion perfectly fits, where I have been emotionally hanging out. I wrote the first draft, as you can see, in my journal. As it often does, bringing it to the screen brought changes.

I hope you find inspiration for your own creative work and bring to life something that will help you live.

Be well, do well, speak well, and love hard as you can.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

If You Are Wondering… Bonus 🥰😍🤗

At times, I will neglect my creativity. I work better when I challenge myself and have self-imposed deadlines. The 2020 Creativity Project is a daily marathon of Creativity. I must post and, therefore, must produce.

When I create, it often opens the sluice gates on what holds all my wild in; the dam cannot keep my mind contained. I want to finish my novel and my book on creativity this year. I think I have a chance since I committed to this.

If you are a Creative, however, that defines you, you may find it beneficial to set tasks and goals of which you refuse to let yourself slip out.

I try to share inspiring things and prompts, but some of those posts get no views. I am puzzled by what is happening here, but I have this to do, whether seen or not.

I write everything here, and all the pictures are mine. I chose the design and outfitted it. Since three years old such things have consumed me. I cannot drop it and survive.

I have not run central heat all Winter so I could afford the site cost for Premium. Worth it, I declare. You see no commercials; I got the Entrepreneur theme. Thank God for my Mom’s electric blanket.

I posted so many times yesterday; it was crazy. I proofed for about four hours and took a semi-nap, I hardly sleep without taking pills to turn my mind off — the little perk of my disorder.

Maybe I say too much about myself, I apologize if you think so, but one of my dearly held purposes on the web has always been to raise mental health/illness awareness. It is one of my only ways to contribute as a disabled person. If only…

Now, away and away, business be done.

February is coming; it could sneak up on you, Valentine’s Day. I am all about love, so it is one of my most favorite days. The stores put out the Valentine goodies before Christmas is done, though. Does anyone else think it is shameless overkill? Oh, let’s get out of that morass before we are swallowed up.

I think love should be celebrated every day in every beautiful way, but for I Heart You Day: If you and your someone are going for dinner and a movie, why not ride a horse-drawn carriage. If that is too much, enlist a single person to chauffeur you. You lovebirds sit in back, stealing kisses and caresses on your way. A photoshoot where you go to a studio with costuming and get made and gussied up will be a forever memory. Alternatively, you could hire a photographer, dress in frills, make-up, for the thrills, and be photographed at a place near the heart of your relationship or a scenic spot that will become a new favorite.

I am single, you too? It is okay; we love it also. Pick up your most coveted meal fixings and prepare it beforehand, so you only need to heat it. Buy yourself something you have wished for; it does not have to be expensive. Wrap that up. Pick up a ravishing desert. Now, celebrate with a binge-watch of the shows you have meant to get to while enjoying the rest.

Any of you who feel the need could hire one of your favorite poets to write personalized love poems made to order; also, some might even be able to provide accompanying art, photography, or graphics.

Queen recorded some great love songs. Freddie, Bri, Roger, and John have always been some of my favorite artists, and now with Adam and their recent and current tours, there is plenty of work on YouTube. Take a listen, rock your mood.

Ah, work calls, you are released.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Hearts have this strange way, you know, like the magic which we never allow its slipping into the clouds. The lightning would be spectacular and potentially frazzle dazzle everything.

It Is For Such Days…

I am 56 years old, my son is 31. For years circumstances have widely separated us geographically. We have remained best friends through the wonders of technology. The kid got his first computer at age three. He is wildly creative, has over 100,000 words on a novel you will hear about soon enough. He has been home with me since early December, except for a few trips he took to visit others.

I irritate him a lot; I have bizarre idiosyncrasies. We get along, though, and we work together somewhat. He wants me to be bold, like himself, I am a coward. I asked him last night if he would go with me today. I explained it was Norma’s memorial service, for which Richard requested I write a poem and read it there. He surprised me and said yes. Alex is an inspiration to me always; we have been through so much.

We got Chick-Fil-A for lunch, which Alex puts up memes about being God’s restaurant. He allowed me to read the poem because I do not do public readings. He said I did it well. I thought, well, maybe I can do it.

We got there way early. My Mom always believed in being way early, and I seem to carry on her habit. We talked. We went inside, and I was reproached because there was an individual there, and I mentioned it to Alex. He was right, but… and he says there are no buts. Anyway, we went back outside. It did not seem many people I knew were about that early.

When we came back inside, one of the funeral directors talked to me and gave me an order of service. We spoke to Richard when the room opened. When we sat, one of my favorite people came up, and I got hugs. I love hugs. We promised to be better in touch. I hope it occurs.

When the service began, some very renowned poets were read by a very distinguished person. She opened the floor for attendees to speak, there was no movement or sound. So she said, maybe Jo Ann Jordan, who is a local poet, would like to say something. Yeah, me. I walked up to the steps and prayed that my knees would allow me to make it up to the podium. It was a near thing. You do not know my knees.

Next, I stumbled through the presentation.

Betwixt Times

Sometimes two people
Find the perfect match within
One another and mesh
So their souls permanently
Entwine, declaring them complete.

Cherishing each other
They come to understand
Their bond is so rich,
Their complement so pure;
Lives shared are exceptional.

Norma and Richard
Were always present to give,
Contribute whatever
Was required for their success;
And helping others do their best.

Love infused their lives
So there could be no doubt
Their dedication
To one another was sure and true,
Adoring, always respecting, the two.

Working together
They did it in perfect sync,
Creating things of which
Others could only dream;
They were a successful team.

Norma was a rare beauty,
Quiet in public, but given
To laughter and devotion,
Kind, tender, precious, sweetness,
Expressing love at home.

It is a tearful loss
Dealt out of season, against time,
The world a bit dimmer,
Without the smiles and gentleness
Norma so freely shared with all.

Her creativity
Dedication, work ethic,
Motivation we can
Hope to reflect, even as
We miss Norma’s selflessness.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, January 16, 2020

“With Norma and our two kitties, we have had a home full of continuous love, respect, laughter, and adoration.” – Mr. Richard Nichols

I did the poem reading my large print copy with some muddling when I had to change pages. When I did manage to look up, there was Alex, smiling, which no one knows how that helped.

I got all messed up on Richard’s quote adding extra ands, but it really is a miracle I could do it at all. I love and respect Norma and Richard more than I can express. They have been mentors and friends to me. My copy editing is directly due to their influence.

I forgot to pray before I headed down those steps, and what a mess I made.

The service was the most inspirational memorial I have ever seen. Richard spoke, and I managed not to cry there, but I have tears now.

Norma had a truly angelic spirit and was one of the most highly intelligent creative people ever. She will be sorely missed.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

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Gotta Be Quick

Day 16 – 2020 Creativity Project

Today is one of the days I work as a Copy Editor. It is a limited engagement with a few hours, but when I am on, it is demanding. So this is rushed.

I finished the poem in the wee hours to read at the memorial service, and it was approved without change. Got the awe-inspiring stamp!

I have thought for a while that I could do poems on demand, and this proved my hypothesis. There is this raw idea I have been noodling – but I am a coward.

I have been faulted as not living up to my potential, if I could believe I had any, maybe I could achieve it.

I need to color my hair, pick out clothes, finish proofing the magazine, so this is a done deal. If the person who requested the poem approves, I will post it sometime soon.

I just hope while I am reading tomorrow at the service that I do not stumble over my own words too severely. The other poets who will be read are superstars from times ago.

Yeah, you all take care. God Bless.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

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Somewhat a Block

Day 15: 2020 Creativity Project

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It was a day! Awakened by a dear friend who requested I write a poem and also read it in public. No pressure, right?

If you think that, I have not made myself clear. It is after 11pm, and I have not begun. I almost skipped this website entry, and it is a commitment. Anxiety.

I did go to town with my son for lunch and necessity shopping. While the whole time, the resistance to doing the poem built.

I know I can do it. I write all the time. I am afraid of disappointing my friend and embarrassing myself in front of a gathering. I committed to it, though, so do it, I must. How do I write something outstanding? It must be more than just a poem, it must reach hearts, every heart. No pressure, right?

How do I stand up and present what I created? I am not a compelling speaker, I rush. This is important, though, and therein lies the fear, fear of such failure I lose face.

I did not get to so much today. I did no art, I ate disgracefully, but I read The Raven and Lenore by Edgar Allan Poe. The hope was that reading them aloud would prime whatever it is that writes poems. I also read stories in the latest issue of GRANTA, which is my all-time favorite magazine, each issue a book, glorious. Reading is supposed to calm me. Sometimes it makes my inferiorities bolder for me to see.

I share this because creatives struggle sometimes. Making something out of thin air is magic, hard to master.

I am going to do this poem. I am going to present it. God help me, even if I do not believe I can.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan