Category Archives: writing

My Critic Delayed This

#2018-05-04 Face Your Fear

I tell you all to create; that you are creative. I did the above on May 4, my critic said I could not post it. It was not good enough, it was a dumb idea, poorly executed. It is true, I used to do better. My critic stopped my art.

I want you to know, that critic in your head when it tells you negative things before you even begin, and when you have made something, it is a liar. I like that song, “Fear is a Liar.” Look it up, and listen.

Face your fear, do not let it stop you from helping change the world. Your creativity is desperately needed. If you know, something is not all you want it to be, practice. No one became a master at anything without trying, mistakes, and continued training (self-teaching).

No matter what your mind, another human, a boss, a parent, a teacher tells you; if there is an attempt to stop your hopes and dreams, the advice is false, a lie. You are endowed with creativity and greatness. Let no one, and nothing convince you differently.

I fight this. Fear is a problem. We have to have the courage to be ourselves in a world where many follow the crowd. We are originals, all of us are unique, blessed with different vision, dreams, talents, gifts, and abilities. If we expect the world to be better, we must make it.

Prompt: Create something you have been considering, but your critic blew you off. All of us have something like that, I know you do.

I am grateful:

  1. I slept good Thursday.
  2. I have my new friends from Nigeria, they call me, it is so awesome.
  3. Ham sandwiches.
  4. Animal crackers.
  5. Heritage Baptist Church, Douglasville, Georgia.

 

Speak no invective
To any living creature;
Our Judge knows each one.

 

Mother’s Day Without

It has not been a year,
But your absence is a void
I will never fill;
The love you gave
There is none other
Could replace its totality.

I try to forgive
The fact I did
Not appreciate you
Nearly enough;
I find no absolution,
No mending the pain.

The tears come less
Often like a deluge,
I am trying to build
A life I can inhabit,
But there is no
Denying the missing pieces.

I realize you would advise,
Be strong, happy, active,
Continue to create,
But Mama it is hard
Without your love, hugs,
Presence when I am weak.

I miss you like
The waves would the shore,
The stones would the earth,
The sun would the sky,
The moon would the night,
Without you, I am almost undone.

Yet, now, writing this
I know you know
All the things I cannot,
Will not say and you love me,
You always have, always will,
And I will see you again someday.

So thank you, Mama,
For giving me this life,
Believing in me,
Always loving me.
I will continue, I will succeed,
I will be who you thought I could be.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Thursday, May 10, 2018

 

I have more, but this is sufficient. I bid you be well, be happy, create, share love all you can, be a friend to someone, never forget everyone is trying to overcome something, so live gently in the world.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. You know the deal, follow if you like, if not come back as you will.

God Bless and much love to all,
Jo Ann

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

 

 

 

 

Art?

2018-4-25_Believe_In_Your_Best_Dream

It is not always where you have been that matters, or even where you are in the present, where you are going can be reason enough to keep working for your dreams.

No matter where you are, what you have, what you are doing or trying to do, you are enough. You are a perfect example of love loosed in the world, and you can have an impact beyond what you imagine.

Love must seek after
Love returned, renewed, carried
Unto completion,
It is for naught until shared
Until given another.

 

Humans are a breed
Creatively endowed to
Change all around us
Enhancing our existence;
Then seeking simplicity.

To become content
With ourselves is a lifetime
Task few can master.

As a creative prompt list your fondest dream, then imagine how you can achieve it. If you have not already begun working on it, lay out some plans.

I am grateful:

  1.  I feel better today than yesterday.
  2.  I managed to get some laundry done.
  3.  I am fed and clothed.
  4.  Hope is still here.
  5.  Music is pleasant.

I have been away a while, there were reasons, but my reasons do not much matter. I am meant to be a writer, and writing I should do.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I hope you will either follow via the button or visit again. May you find the things for which you search and achieve what you dream.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Sunday, Not According to Plan

2016-11-11 Purple flowers pieces

Sunday morning, I was going to church. I showered, dressed, loaded the Explorer, got in, turned the key and nothing happened. Therefore, I stayed home. This was not my plan. We make plans, life intervenes, it has ever been so. I did a little writing in journals, so I shall share it with you.

2018.03.11 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 1

Make sure you share yourself generously with those you love and assure them of your affection and love. Life is a mystery, it comes sudden, and it departs without permission. The most important gift we are given is the honor of sharing our dear ones’ life. No promises we make, nothing we plan, no conditions or happiness are guaranteed. Live, live abundantly, unselfishly, trusting, caring, sharing, and loving with all you are, because this second is all you can be confident you own.

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You may be able to break faith with your creative impulse, that is not a luxury I am privy to. Only God has more of a claim to me than does creativity, especially writing.  Because it makes demands know in my daily relationship with my mind, and the Spirit is more gentle, the compulsion to make the words known is often very strong. If you can tame your intellect, bravo to you. Mine has me in a vise grip.

2018.03.11 Gratitude Journal0003

The Samsung cell phone and I are often at war. I am always trying to maximize it for my use. What is most disconcerting is when it disappears my apps or adds some I was not asked did I want. We are at a ceasefire at present. I made major changes.

Lots of people complain about rain, but I love rain. It means there will be water in the reservoirs, to nurture flowers, trees, and crops, and it washes the air so I may breathe easier. Yes, it is messy, and sometimes no fun, but the benefits outweigh the inconveniences.

I think you might use appreciation for others as your prompt and explore what is lost when someone passes from this plane.

A heart fully shared
Is an original gift
Only you can give.

I hope your week is progressing well and to your satisfaction. Even troublesome days have rainbow moments. Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I would love to know your thoughts on this posting. Should you wish to follow the website, there is a button, if not, please come back whenever possible.

As each day passes
Remember you must forgive
To completely live.

No one will remember your Facebook statuses or tweets on Twitter, but if you spend time face to face, you will insert yourself indelibly in their memory.

No broken person
Avoided, forgotten, goes
Without compassion,
Because the shattered can see
Holes in the fabric of time.

Look to God for your joy, and you will be less disappointed than if you depend on your things. May the Lord go with you every day and every way. Blessings to you now and always.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

It was Saturday, It was Real

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2018.03.10 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 1

 

This is the first of four entries written yesterday. I think I am going to begin posting the actual pages instead of transcribing them. It gives a better window into my process and requires me to work harder because there is no spelling or grammar checker when I use handwriting.

Honest work made true
By careful hands, gifted mind,
No pretense involved.

2018.03.10 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 40002

In my job, I handle enough errors that I came to this conclusion. Even though that is only a few hours a month, it leaves the impression I do not wish to see more. I am available for copy editing at a price, but torture, no. I get migraines because I so want to fix things.

2018.03.10 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 40003

This surprised me. I did not know this was what I would write. It became more profound than I intended and brought things to my attention I was unaware I believed. I discover myself as I write, and sometimes, I have no idea who I am. This is the reason writing is such crucial exploratory work.

2018.03.10 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 40004

If you like the journal pages, please let me know. If not, express that as well. I am so thankful for those of you who take time to read my meanderings. When I know you have found merit in what I do, it makes me feel maybe there is a chance that my creations could find a home in the world of book publishing.

As a prompt, if there was something in what I discussed that you would like to explore in relation to yourself, go ahead. Or simply write something. Live on the page, it is kind of like speaking aloud.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. You are much appreciated. If you wish; follow the site, if not, make this your destination in the future. God be with you in all your ways and days. Blessings upon you.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Journals and Entries

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The top journal is Gratitude; the black one is However, Whenever, Whatever; the bottom one is my Brain Dump Notebook which I finished Friday, March 9, 2018.

I think some of you realize I have been struggling a lot lately. It goes and comes. I have an antidote I sometimes use, a Gratitude List. I started a new journal expressly for that purpose. Two entries in, plus journal entries in However, Whenever, Whatever; and reading over the Brain Dump Notebook I just completed, and I am ditching most of the despair. I have made a lot of progress since losing Mom. I see it on these pages.

I highly recommend making Gratitude Lists at least once a week. This counting of blessings grounds us in our lives, which we can so quickly lose touch with in many ways.

Journals are also significant psychological tools, helping work through problems and find creative solutions to our challenges. Writing every day is not necessary, though the more frequently the device is used, the more effective it becomes.

2018.03.09 Gratitude Journal2018.03.10 Gratitude Journal

You can guess the prompt, get out one of those journals which I know you have and dedicate it to Gratitude. Make it daily or weekly, but make it a habit. It will help you deal with the life you live. It will encourage to take nothing for granted, it will help you realize the struggles of others. Most of all, it will challenge you to be your best self.

Life is a gift, we should be thankful for it and all the many possessions that make it richer. Our friends, families, and pets are treasures beyond value.

Forgive me for being away, I have been in crisis mode. Had to go over a year of writing to realize I have survived.

Servants on Mission

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Servants on Mission

The light near their end
Shines brighter than many at
Noonday ever will;
For they tamed all their hunger
Placed their appetite in chains.

Not chasing money
They chose tight fiscal restraint
Choosing comfort for
Themselves and those whom they serve,
Elevating the prostrate.

Raising those passed by,
Overlooked by the mighty,
From stations of lack
To circles of influence
Where more are motivated.

The Kingdom of Love
Overcomes the evil one,
The Gospel is preached
Bright new converts learn to teach,
The message spreads far and wide.

Courageous soldiers
Bearing the banner of Christ
Overtake the field
For the harvest now is ripe,
The Master’s mission cheers hearts.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, February 26, 2018

This was written on reflection of the New Testament saints, and because of some magnificent missionaries who I know. The line about comfort is not about ease and things of the world, but about the spiritual support of abiding in the Lord.

I have been writing, a lot, but I have felt posting was futile so I have left off doing it.

My Diamond Idea

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Most natural diamonds are formed at high temperature and pressure at depths of 140 to 190 kilometers (87 to 118 mi) in the Earth’s mantle. Carbon-containing minerals provide the carbon source, and the growth occurs over periods from 1 billion to 3.3 billion years (25% to 75% of the age of the Earth). – Definition collected from Wikipedia by Google Search.

So, basically, it takes impossibility and forever to make a diamond. We, humans, are the same, we are products of deep time, and intricate chemical and genetic process. None of us can be recognized to reach perfection. Of course, my definition of human genesis includes God, and the fulfillment of Jesus Christ, but there is a purpose in my approaching this post in this way.

I am going to delve a bit into my personal situation here, but there is some reason for that, as well. The ideas I present have long taken up a portion of my mental real estate. Over the years an outline has formed in my mind, but I was obliged to care for my Mom, who suffered Parkinson’s Disease, dementia, and a host of other illnesses for twenty years. Now the inkling there may finally be an opportunity haunts me.

There is a mental health crisis in our nation and substantially throughout the world. I am one of the ill, with a severe case of Schizo-Affective Disorder. As often happens among those of us with mental conditions, I recently confronted my care team with discontinuing medication, I was told in no uncertain terms, “You cannot function without your medication.” Not the answer I ardently desired, but the expected one. I have lived this disease since 1981, and I tend to think I may have been a part of it even earlier. I want a miracle, it is very highly unlikely that will occur.

In treatment, on medication, I am incredibly functional. The complex idea that presents is: What if I were, with the aid of professionals, able to help others become more stable and find purpose? Some of the skills I use can be taught. I have systems and arrangements that allow me to do things as needed. These are not anything healthcare practitioners taught me.

I have learned over time to remain occupied, busying my mind always. Some of my pastimes entail minimal investment in materials. Stress, depression, paranoia, delusions, all fade when the brain is kept busy. Reading, journaling, creative writing, poetry, and art can so involve the imagination that it leaves off some of its self-destructive and harmful patterns. These are forms of self-therapy that may be taught and can help stabilize a personality. The thing I can offer is an inroad to these methods from the perspective of one encompassed by the active disease. When you live with it, you approach problems differently than one who merely learned about the conditions.

There are underserved populations for whom an open clinic could assist. Diagnosis, treatment, medications, instructions, and coping skills wrapped in creativity could be of life-changing help. Alas, I have no funds to attempt this, but I am convinced there is work to be done with which I could be of assistance, though I have no degree. I would also be pleased to have a viable income stream again.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

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