A Horse Called Crazy

Carousel Horses The ancient horse never felt so alone. Crazy remembered, so many years ago the tree that bore him stood among siblings in a dense grove watered by a giggling stream and prickles of incessant rain. He recalled coming alive as a sapling wisp after a voracious rushing wildfire, which only a select few elders survived. Those resilient old ones whispered the secrets of existence, history, life to the youngsters who would carry on.

This is a story start I may work on later. It is something I created days ago in my “Brain Dump Notebook.” I am feeling very unsure of my ability to create right now. Maybe later, I will find the strength to move forward.

I always say when you think your life is worthless, make a gratitude list, so here we go, please understand I feel very little ability to write anything. Valentine’s Day without my Mom was killer. Knowing I will lose my dog soon, is killer.

I am grateful:

I have this website where I can open my heart and know, no matter what, it is okay because it is mine.
I have a best friend who has to be one of the best people who have ever, now, and will ever live.
I made it to church, and even though I got really panicky, I stayed.
I have a little copy editing work to do.
I am reading a couple of outstanding books.
Most people can understand, when you make a negative assertion, your whole attitude is not negative. Only your outlook on that thing is giving you trouble.
Homemade food at church is delicious.
The bill I was sent was a mistake. God fixed it.
I am trying to convince myself I can use a nice notebook. I have beautiful notebooks and journals, even Moleskine. The thing is, what if I make a mistake?
All mistakes are not detrimental, some become lovely creations. I have had this happen, often.

Okay, see, I got through that. Granted it is not a panacea, but it helped.

A struggle I am working on is sugar. On December 6, 2013, I weighed over 200 pounds. I walked it off and managed potions. Notice I did not say I changed my diet. The last few months sugar has become a monster again. I am still within my safe range, 135 to 140 pounds, but I am on the high end. So, I am eating up what is left of the ton of sugary treats I have accumulated, and I am trying not to replenish them. This is harder than you probably imagine. The photo is before and after, and since then I changed my hair even more.

Before and After

This entry is all over the place. I am too, like a super bouncing ball. Deal; deal; life goes on and is not done until there is no more.

You may hide it exceedingly well, but there is a good chance there are things that are preying on your peace of mind. As a prompt, let yourself express those killer thoughts in written form. Once they are there, and you can accept them as real and confront them, maybe as monsters, but also as manageable concepts that you can write around, explore, and possibly dismantle, try to put them aside and if only, for now, be loose from their grip on your psyche.

I cannot express how much I needed just to write. I hope I have dissuaded no one from coming here. You had to know by now, that there is an element of the deranged in my makeup. Wildly creative people are often a bit mental. I could go into clinical details, but I will not. I was honest, I think most of you expect that of me. Even when I know it is difficult, I am faithful to who and what I am.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I shall make an effort to comport myself with more dignity next time. If you wish to follow, there is a button. Otherwise, I hope you will come back soon. I am working on moving Chronicles under this domain so there will be much more material here to dig into. That blog goes back to 2005 when I began on MSN Spaces. It ported to WordPress, and I made that home.

There is a lot in life that can discombobulate a person, maintain yourself best you can by any means necessary that does no harm to others. You are a creative individual of such magnificent uniqueness that in no time or place have you, or will you, be replicated. You have gifts, talents, and abilities that are ideally suited for use in this exact period of history. Do not squander them by letting yourself be convinced that you are any less than a superhuman. God made you, and last I checked, God never made a mistake. Yeah, and I could really do with having this recorded and played on a continuous loop. LOL!

Be careful out there, my friends. Be aware, be watchful, and by all means stay safe. God Bless and Keep You, Everyday, Everyway, Always and Forever.

No Dove, A Tempest

Like others, you may
Have thought poetry simple,
Being sometimes short,
But no, that is mistaken,
Discounting shots to the heart.

A poem is more than
Words on a page, it is breath
From somewhere foreign
A rare exhale from strange worlds
In which standard rules vanish.

No soft-spoken dove
Fluttering gently about,
More intense tempest
Uprooting structures revered
By mortals who love safety.

The poet, a rebel
Stirring the atmosphere meant
To hold, control us,
Shouts: Awake! Breathe deep! Join life!
Change tumbles from written lines.

I wrote the poem earlier in my “Brain Dump Notebook.” If you do not already possess one of these, I suggest you get one for your ideas that come without notice. Mine is a cheap notebook. I also have a sketchbook for more artistic designs, but being mostly a writer, I use it seldom.

I have mentioned I believe all humans are creative. As a prompt, I would like to suggest you contemplate the following questions: What is the meaning and purpose of my life? Why am I here? Answer the questions best you can and consider how you can create an experience that fulfills what you answer. If you need to make changes, make the course corrections you must to move toward those things that have the most meaning.

When we create, there is the need to inject love into our work so that we may be about making the world a better place for all humans and other beings who are influenced by our creation. We should avoid causing harm in any way.

I am grateful:

I finished reading, Origen by Dan Brown. I highly recommend it, and on a scale of 1-5, I give it a 10.
I played throw the toy, and go fetch it, to throw it again, with the dogs for about an hour.
I have walked a lot today. I hurt, but that is the way of it.
Levenger, I have nothing else to say.
I have a tremendous collection of books, today I searched for one because Amazon keeps advertising it at me. I knew I had it. FOUND IT!
Paid some bills. Always good when there is a way to do that.
Started reading, The Whispering Room by Dean Koontz. Candy reading at its most superb.

I hope you are engaging your imagination on a regular basis and creating what you may. It is crucial that we bring new ideas, new thoughts, new designs, into being. We must clarify meaning and love in the world. You are precious and priceless. What you make matters.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I hope you found something worth your thought and time. There is a follow button, or if you prefer, just come back soon. This world would not be what it is today were it not for individuals with creative minds that strive to reach beyond the ordinary boundaries. Be the one to pioneer, to discover, to create the next great thing. You have it in you.

As you traverse the earth during your days, be awake, be aware, never let yourself be so distracted you fail to notice what you must. Take care, be safe, and God Bless You, Everyday, Everyway, Always and Forever.

Manifesto (Read at Your Own Risk)

Seriously,
Has there not been enough hate,
Murder, war, death
In the name of causes which
Instead of leading to love
Cause decimation, ruin,
Destroy friendships, marriages,
Childhoods, countries, resources,
Make paupers of everyone.

I am not convinced
Anyone rightfully spits
Upon another
Or roughs someone up a bit
Or impugns character with
No intimate knowledge of
The conditions under which
A person must struggle to
Continue a given life.

Spouting prejudice
Yet denying it exists
Due to history
Even of oppression is
Only fueling the fire
Burning civilization
Down, the inferno needs no
Encouragement, hungry,
It devours all decency.

This current age is
One where eradication
Of poverty can
Occur, possibilities
Of universal schooling
For all earth’s denizens are
Real, if differences can
Be laid aside, equality
Given with loving freedom.

There is no justification
For condemnation of individuals
Based on a stereotype, creed, religious
Persuasion, skin tone, sexual orientation,
Body image, or any choice or difference.
People are beautiful, so worthy of love,
Understanding, opportunity, growth,
Tenderness, kindness, generosity,
Love is the purpose; love is the reason,
Love is the freedom; love is humanity,
It must be claimed and shared
For, after all, love is destiny.

I am a Christian, those of you who read regularly know this. I struggle with thoughts of damnation, doubt. The only privilege from my profession is that Christ bled for me that I might be redeemed as I am. Today I was accused of religious privilege. I do not even begin to know what that means. My faith is not only a blessing, but it is also a torment. Too much information, sorry.

As a prompt, explore a topic you feel strongly about, then create something from that exploration. A leading question might be, who am I and who do others think I am and should I take action to reconcile the viewpoints if they are opposed.

I am grateful:

My son, Alex, called this evening.
Even though I have cried a lot today, I was able to write this.
There is a song called, “We All Bleed The Same.”
The house looks decent, oh, just don’t view Mom’s room, it is still hard to go in there.
I made up my medications for the next three weeks, such fun.
I straightened out the covers and made up the bed.
Even though the mass is growing, my dog, Hope, is still here.

Tomorrow is Saturday; if you have the day off get out in nature, or town, awhile. A change of environment can lift the spirits and feed your creative genius. If you cannot get out, spend some time listening to music you love. Life is a challenge and if we can add joy to it, we should.

I hope you are reading this year. We learn so much from the creations and opinions of others. This gigantic world is full of information, and though no one can know it all, we can at least indulge in a little of the ocean.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I am so glad you took time to read my musings. If you would like, click the follow button, if not, please come back again. Never let one person have such power over you that they destroy your day or your life. You are worthy of love and respect. All of us are precious. Employ your creativity as much as possible and try to keep a smile on your face. Most people are good, but be aware, be careful, and trust your gut. I hope you remain safe from danger and enjoy all the happiness you can hold. God Bless You, Everyday, Everyway, Forever and Always.

Endure

Endure despite all
The problems and obstacles
Let purpose endow
Conviction with energy
Needed to focus power
On those things achievable
By a diligent effort
Reroute when thrown off right course
Create survival motives
Keep going even after
Being beaten so badly
Giving up seems an option
Know the wait is rewarded
Failure is only teardrops
Watering the stubborn soil
Which must yield fruit, sweet success
Be positive, cheer tired hearts
Let passion flow unhampered
Use love to create bridges
Able to provide future
Safe passage to destinies
Building a saner, safer
World of opportunity
Where every person becomes
Full measure of potential
Claimed by grace and justified
According to Christ’s plan for
Whosoever will accept
Life is deeper than surface
It is all given for love
Creativity fashions
Abilities, gifts, talent
Tools to revive hope deferred
Whispering softly, “Endure!”

Gratitude List:

This poem was a blessing.
The hot dogs were tasty.
I got the kitchen and mail somewhat under control.
I am finally getting used to low temperatures in the house.
I have the prescriptions I need to allow me to function.
I have learned that being content is better than being miserable.
The Fiskars came out of the dishwasher looking as if they are okay.

I would like for you to go back to the poem, read it carefully, and notice that I did not use pronouns. I also omitted most punctuation, but that is only to call attention to the line breaks without the artificial direction punctuation imposes.

As a prompt, create work that does not include proper nouns or pronouns. It is not as easy as it may appear. If you are working in the visual arts, create something without referring to a proper noun or pronoun.

I made two entries today; I may kick back a bit. I hope you will explore other posts on Haphazard Creative. I try to make them informative and entertaining. If you like, click the follow button, or come back whenever you will. I want you to know I appreciate you taking time to read. Writing is my thing, and it is good to have an audience. I hope my work inspires and encourages you. Each of us needs all the positive reinforcement we can get. Be careful as you go about your day. Be aware, things happen, and sometimes we can prevent them merely by knowing what is around us. God Bless and Keep You, Always!

Artful Joy, Agony

If we forego what
Is destroying me right now
And look positive,
We see the cards written with
A heart unable to turn
Back time and resurrect one
Who loved utterly, mother;
The shallow spout platitudes, that firsts
Are hardest, understanding
Nothing about investment.
These Valentines are a gift
Polished in her memory
With hope to brighten the day
For someone who needs the love
Given with no expectation
Of any return, for there
Is none, the heart bleeds rivers,
Only words are left to carry
Life beyond all tragedy,
Some holy words, God-given,
Some created words forged here
In a mind that will not accept
Defeat, love and love and love
Will win, carry this long day
Into the next and further
Into a future where tears
Will buy living memory
And help a soul survive itself.
I am part stardust, dragon,
Feather, ink, paper, bone, strong
Enough to rise into skies
Streaked with morning’s hesitating dew
Washing me a new foundling
As the light pours over me
Burnishing my skin with color
Appearing evanescent,
I am hers, always, but life
It calls me to linger fondly
Carrying on brightly with purpose
She planted in me, even leaving,
There is no escape from who
I am made, drawn, charged to be.
The oceans wave, the moon reflects,
The stars in their orbits remain,
And I, forever, a poet
Shall be, with words, worlds, to spin,
Stories to complete and tell,
Until I reach Heaven where
Once more her embrace will enfold me
And I shall find my treasured peace.

I hope that this evening finds you well, and covered by happiness. As a prompt, if you have lost someone or something you feel empty without, take that feeling and expound on it, but also celebrate your honor to survive and create a legacy.

I think a lot of legacies these days, and I feel mine is cheapened by worthlessness, but there are so many things that contend against that negative surmise. I suppose we never know what treasures will be garnered from what we leave. Just now, I only hope that I can illuminate the day for someone with encouragement and inspiration, because really, what is better than that. If you can lift the spirits of another person who is treading in the gray of desperation, fear, loneliness, then you have spared a world of loss potential and given a gift that may generate lasting greatness.

I am grateful:

For bread and honey.
For salted chips.
For hot showers.
For dishwashers.
For puppy dog kisses.
For a bed that does not always require making.
For fuzzy footies.
For things stockpiled over years that are now seeing use.
For icemakers.
I have been given more gifts than I can employ and the capacity for joy.

What will you share with the world that you feel too costly to spare, but nevertheless know is your obligation?

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I hope you found inspiration or encouragement and that you become more productive for the time spent here. There is a follow button you may use, or just come back when you are able. Make sure you share the expression of your love with those you hold dear at every opportunity. The world is an uncertain place, and you never know the future. As you go about your day be aware, it could save you trouble. Being safe is most important. Take risks, but manage them within control. God Bless and Keep You, All The Time!