Sometimes, A Heartbreak

The formatting is off in this post. I cannot repair it. My apologies.

Today, my heart is broken for our world, our country, our states, our neighborhoods, all of us. There are many hurting people. Those who have lost friends, family, loved ones; lost treasured pets, who are in pain, who have chronic illnesses, who have terminal diseases, whose relationships are battered or shattered, who cannot beat addiction, who are terrified for their children. There are job losses, financial losses, unbearable debt, mental distress, poverty, hunger, homelessness, war, bullying, and I could probably go on forever. Our world is a troubled and violent place. Safety is hardly real, the risk is constant, death is a breath away.

Some scoff at the name of Jesus, some say they do not need prayers, only actions. When I grew up, prayer was constant and all over. It was not consigned to obscurity. I do not remember life being such a tenuous proposition then. We believed in the good of one another. God has been sent away, and the increase in troubles keeps multiplying. Love has become rare, lust more common, hate a regular outcry.

You may disregard God as you wish, but I pray He finds you. This world needs Jesus, it requires the love only God can provide. Lives need saving. Let those of us who will, abide in Christ’s love, and share it with everyone we meet. People need love. Love can redeem lives. Let each of us be messengers, soothing hands, transmitting the love of the Savior to our communities. We must go, for they must hear and know, for the Lord sends us, and we are His to command.

When I am haunted, I sleep little, and my mind requires that I write. Perhaps, you would have me write otherwise. I am given words, it is not so much a choice as an outpouring over which my control is meager. I understand some may disbelieve that statement, but it has always been the way with me.

Struggle continues

My mind dislikes obeying
The commands I give
It has its own words and ways
I am a vessel of clay.

Shall I be thankful? It is my usual way. I am grateful:

1. My son grew up with a heart and an intention to serve.

2. I spoke my truth, and it cost, perhaps I should learn to curb my honesty when it has the barbs in.

3. I am blessed with topics and words lately.

4. I am getting a little sleep with the aid of a medication cocktail that helps curb my pain. Not opioids or anything addictive for those who might have a concern. My usual meds, plus some NSAIDs.

5. I made some calls and clarified my needs with some businesses. One was insurance, I have a problematic relationship with coverage, but anyway.

6. The ice maker does work, it only requires you provide it with, newsflash, water.

7. I paid bills, bills are evidence you have things in your life, those are blessings. Therefore the need to make payments shows you are provided for by God’s sufficiency.

As a prompt, explain your faith or lack thereof. Consider how you can exhibit faith conjoined with love. Create something that embodies your belief.

I do so appreciate your visit here at Haphazard Creative. You are always welcome and invited to return. Should you want, there is a follow button which will subscribe you to updates. I am freezing. TMI. This world needs love, which entails being courageous enough to reach out benevolently to the people we encounter each day or night, I guess. So I encourage you to put that gorgeous, ice-melting smile on your face and express the friendliness that abides in your soul. You can give your love away as often as you will, and it will be replenished, so you never run out, and the really cool thing, love will return to you. Be grateful, be hopeful, but be careful and aware, keep yourself from danger what you can. God Bless and Keep You, Everyday, Everyway, Forever and Always.

If you missed them, there are previous posts you may wish to read. I have done some exceptional writing of late.

Reaction to yet another mass killing

Instead of arguing, we adults need to have focused time with the children with whom we are in contact. We need to explain how precious they are to us, and how every life is beyond price. This was once communicated by our religious and moral teaching but has fallen away. Therefore, we must make it abundantly clear, in whatever way we can. Concern for those around us, those we know and cherish, those we love, must be fostered in all those who are our future, or I fear, we have much of which to be afraid.

Something must change. I do not believe legislation of any type can solve the problem of mass killings. The government does a poor job of the things we consign to it. We, the people, must exhibit, exhort, exude love for others, and engender it in those who are lacking.

Discussion, argument, disagreement happen, for those to end in violence is directly in opposition to the values we should encourage in everyone with whom we interact.

Life is a gift, no matter how one interprets its generation, and it should be treasured as something beyond price. We have seen the dead, and at this time they do not rise, the loss is permanent in this realm, and that understanding must be conveyed, so no one believes shooting someone or any other violence that causes death, is reversible.

Our society is full of entertainments that glorify violence and show deaths, but then the person is alive again; in video games characters regenerate. Many live on their screens and become desensitized to reality. It is an obligation to teach the difference between fantasy and real life. I fear we often do a poor job of this.

Maybe I am not an ideal person to make this comment, but I considered it might make you think and possibly take action that causes a change. Love to all of you, and to whom accepts it, God Bless and Keep You, Everyday, Everyway, Forever and Always.

As a prompt, contemplate how you can help others understand how valuable life is. If you do not have a daily routine that transmits love to others, I recommend you consider how you may do so. Create something filled with love’s meaning.

I am grateful:

We finished proofing one magazine.
Music.
Books.
Pens.
Computers, tablets, phones.
Quilts.
Friendship.
Doggy kisses.
Writing.
Love.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I know my subject today is painful, upsetting, to some alienating, and not the sunshine, rainbows, roses, and butterflies that are preferred. I read an article in NYT, and my article is a reaction. If it troubles or disappoints you, I apologize. Check back another day, sometimes the world is not so much with me. If you like follow, there is a button.

Be careful out there. Share love often as you can. God Bless and Keep You, Everyday, Everyway, Always and Forever.

Cry Of A Skirmish, Become Battle

I have these two hands

Chock full of everything and

Nothing matters but

The fact loneliness, silence

Surround me with a woven

Shourd spun by a spider huge

Enough to swallow camels

Unable to pass through needles.

Still this fight, it is my fight

I will not give up, nor quit;

Nobody, nothing has ever

Beaten me, and now is no

Time to embrace my defeat.

Sure, I have been down, fallen,

But being at the bottom

Is not a place to concede,

The floor is sure beneath you

So you build, build skyscrapers

Rockets, starships, transporters;

Choose the future, create

Technology to carry

You where you wish to begin.

Even if you use only words

Describing the dreams held up

To challenge the entropy

Chaos that dwell threatening

In the dust and grime that swirl

Eroding marvels some worship.

What they do not know, cannot

Be told them, refusing the message

You cannot make them submit

It will be, if it will be,

When it happens, if it does.

You just be you, and be best

That you can be, that you know

How, love has you, and you have

Love enough to inspire, incite

Others to find the greatness

Contained beneath decaying skin

In the very heart of the self

Who is a wisp of shallow breath,

Evanescent, easily

Aborted in the crush of

Moments that slip quick away

Like motes in passing sunbeams.

Rush to the helm, take the wheel,

Drive your ship with dignity,

Care, choose your freight with delight

Do not weigh yourself excessively

Accepting problems others

Create for you, find solutions

No one can attempt besides you.

There is trouble, sadness, tears,

But those are not destiny;

Destiny lies at a time,

Beyond time, a place outside

Space, the heart contains the seeds

Of creativity, eternity,

The ability to transcend

To love deeper and wider

Than imagination knows.

Children of the Creator,

Children of the Forever King,

We are capable of living

Abundance, Heaven on Earth.

Broken, shattered, maybe, but

Keep watching, there are miracles

Unbelievable, we are yet to see.

I know the ending of the story

And the triumphal winner

Calls us, Beloved, and He

Saves us eternally.

These last two poems are a bit unusual for me. My gratitude list and prompt are in the first of the three entries I have made today. I realize no one liked it, but it had worth.

I am grateful my creativity knows no bounds and that my voice is mine. Being creative, being an original, is one thing no one can take away.

As a prompt, think about the above statement. What freedom, what license does it give you?

Through Tears, Encouragement

Somehow we have to hang on.

Don’t ask me how

because my grip is fading.

Remember though,

if we are not strong

enough to go on,

the world we made

will disappear, and those

we love will never know

who they could be

with us at their sides.

Maybe, we can hope,

the world will be a little

more grounded, a little

more real, have a little

more love because

we are willing to grapple

reality and pin it down.

We can make it what it

has to be for us to

keep on, keeping on.

We are not cowards

because we hurt,

we are oceans of tears

that wash away the evil

and redeem it in love

that is stronger than

the giants that oppose us.

No matter, we are

the victors, because we

create what will drive us

through the future and

banish the pain, a ghost

we refuse to allow to haunt.

All the unhappiness

is a shade, passing before

the window, hiding the light,

but the Son, the love

remains, we just have

to dispel the shadow.

A Horse Called Crazy

Carousel Horses The ancient horse never felt so alone. Crazy remembered, so many years ago the tree that bore him stood among siblings in a dense grove watered by a giggling stream and prickles of incessant rain. He recalled coming alive as a sapling wisp after a voracious rushing wildfire, which only a select few elders survived. Those resilient old ones whispered the secrets of existence, history, life to the youngsters who would carry on.

This is a story start I may work on later. It is something I created days ago in my “Brain Dump Notebook.” I am feeling very unsure of my ability to create right now. Maybe later, I will find the strength to move forward.

I always say when you think your life is worthless, make a gratitude list, so here we go, please understand I feel very little ability to write anything. Valentine’s Day without my Mom was killer. Knowing I will lose my dog soon, is killer.

I am grateful:

I have this website where I can open my heart and know, no matter what, it is okay because it is mine.
I have a best friend who has to be one of the best people who have ever, now, and will ever live.
I made it to church, and even though I got really panicky, I stayed.
I have a little copy editing work to do.
I am reading a couple of outstanding books.
Most people can understand, when you make a negative assertion, your whole attitude is not negative. Only your outlook on that thing is giving you trouble.
Homemade food at church is delicious.
The bill I was sent was a mistake. God fixed it.
I am trying to convince myself I can use a nice notebook. I have beautiful notebooks and journals, even Moleskine. The thing is, what if I make a mistake?
All mistakes are not detrimental, some become lovely creations. I have had this happen, often.

Okay, see, I got through that. Granted it is not a panacea, but it helped.

A struggle I am working on is sugar. On December 6, 2013, I weighed over 200 pounds. I walked it off and managed potions. Notice I did not say I changed my diet. The last few months sugar has become a monster again. I am still within my safe range, 135 to 140 pounds, but I am on the high end. So, I am eating up what is left of the ton of sugary treats I have accumulated, and I am trying not to replenish them. This is harder than you probably imagine. The photo is before and after, and since then I changed my hair even more.

Before and After

This entry is all over the place. I am too, like a super bouncing ball. Deal; deal; life goes on and is not done until there is no more.

You may hide it exceedingly well, but there is a good chance there are things that are preying on your peace of mind. As a prompt, let yourself express those killer thoughts in written form. Once they are there, and you can accept them as real and confront them, maybe as monsters, but also as manageable concepts that you can write around, explore, and possibly dismantle, try to put them aside and if only, for now, be loose from their grip on your psyche.

I cannot express how much I needed just to write. I hope I have dissuaded no one from coming here. You had to know by now, that there is an element of the deranged in my makeup. Wildly creative people are often a bit mental. I could go into clinical details, but I will not. I was honest, I think most of you expect that of me. Even when I know it is difficult, I am faithful to who and what I am.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I shall make an effort to comport myself with more dignity next time. If you wish to follow, there is a button. Otherwise, I hope you will come back soon. I am working on moving Chronicles under this domain so there will be much more material here to dig into. That blog goes back to 2005 when I began on MSN Spaces. It ported to WordPress, and I made that home.

There is a lot in life that can discombobulate a person, maintain yourself best you can by any means necessary that does no harm to others. You are a creative individual of such magnificent uniqueness that in no time or place have you, or will you, be replicated. You have gifts, talents, and abilities that are ideally suited for use in this exact period of history. Do not squander them by letting yourself be convinced that you are any less than a superhuman. God made you, and last I checked, God never made a mistake. Yeah, and I could really do with having this recorded and played on a continuous loop. LOL!

Be careful out there, my friends. Be aware, be watchful, and by all means stay safe. God Bless and Keep You, Everyday, Everyway, Always and Forever.