Redefine

Why must there be hate?
Why must the lovely be killed?
What possesses those
Who cause inestimable
Harm to individuals?

Somehow combat must
Ensue within hearts, homes, schools,
To irradicate
That nurturing such malice;
LOVE must permeate, prevail.

Exemplifying
Kindness, LOVE, bringing wisdom,
Generosity,
To the commonest of days;
Change may begin, take hold, win.

It can happen now
If our hearts – love and care, embrace
For the human race,
Treasuring each thing shared here,
LOVE leaves nothing still undone.

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When I read of people meeting a violent end, it cuts into my heart and makes me feel that there should be better ways to handle life. All the stories ended, when a person dies are such a horrible tragedy to me.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Mad Advocacy

It is bad enough the subject is still taboo in our day. It is bad enough, so many people suffer in fear, afraid to be real. It is bad enough there are millions. It is so horrible people are dying.

If it were cancer, if it were cardiac, if it were anything physical, there would be a focus, discussion, compassion, a willingness to try to find better treatments, a cure.

My cousin asked a general question on Facebook, “Can a person with schizophrenia be called an individual?” Family, my own family. He knows me. I have corresponded with him. He has read my work and me, his. He came here and spent time with me in person the day of Mom’s memorial service.

Read that again, “Can a person with schizophrenia be called an individual?”

This was my reply: “Yes. Schizophrenia and Multiple Personality Disorder are different things. Do you consider me an individual? I have Schizoaffective Disorder, Schizophrenia, and the mood disorder, Bipolar combined.

Even MPD, the person, is an individual. Our illnesses do not make us any less worthy of respect and love as individuals.

I wonder where this post came from.”

Punch me in the face and lay me out cold. I could not believe I was reading this.

I should not be surprised. Society wishes to sweep us out with the nasty garbage. Do you know how long it takes to get funding to find those of us suffering new treatments? Do you realize how many people think we are all acting? Do you know how few live to age 56 because they commit suicide?

Sorry, I am angry. It is not so much about me. I know people who could function with meds. I know women who are so down on themselves, their husbands can put fists to skin. I have spoken to a father whose son and his wife were both mentally ill, and that man was in the process of adopting their little girl because neither of them could adequately care for her. He was almost 70.

I am lucky, I get my meds, and though I am sometimes suicidal, I know how to defuse myself with my creativity. Not to say, I have not come very close to success but been saved. My disease is the worst, and I am high functioning. I have an incredible doctor, I was able to get disability, Medicare, and Medicaid by 1997, but I had been living a nightmare since 1981. What I get does not pay all the bills, but I am afraid to lose the insurance by going to work, and I do not do well in public for extended periods. My home is a disaster area. Alex cleared out my Mom’s room. We took three loads in large trucks of clothes to Good Will. I could not do it. I cannot hardly manage any of the house. I have to keep my mind busy, or I destruct. I have to read, write, create, stay mentally engaged, or go to pieces.

Do you realize why so many are in a sorry state? They cannot afford a doctor, and if they could, they could not afford meds. Go price anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, mood stabilizers, go ahead. I will wait.

This is a crisis, and every day it gets worse. That is not an exaggeration. More and more people are committing suicide.

I am sorry, I try to leave this out of the conversation. I know most do not wish to hear about it. Many think we just lack will power and can pull ourselves up by the bootstraps. My older brother was like that, he looked down on me most of my life. We loved each other, but I failed to meet his expectations. My Mom talked to everybody who knew me trying to find ways to relate to me.

No one knows what having voices that you know are unreal, but you cannot dispel, that tell you that you are damned, stupid, ugly, unwanted, unloved, is like without experiencing it. Also, delusions that make it so you cannot trust anyone and always make you feel inferior, make you wish you were never born or could die right quick. It is so hard to understand, and no one should have to, we should put an end to it with committed research.

People like so many of our stars and veterans who commit suicide because of depression. Most of the people suffering are bright and had potential until the diseases took over their lives.

Maybe you know someone who struggles, perhaps you could give them a hug, tell them how much they mean to you. Offer to visit. Just treat them like they are an individual. Love them even if they are sometimes or often unlovable. If you know someone who needs treatment, maybe you could help them with the process. It is damned hard, and many require advocates.

If this offends you, I am sorry. If you think less of me, I get it. Something needs to be done to wake this country up to this crisis. People are dying, and their blood is on our hands if we do nothing, say nothing, we do not initiate change.

“Can a person with schizophrenia be called an individual?” If we dehumanize those with mental issues, are we not falling back into worst tyrannies than our nation’s and world’s past.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

I usually give you pretty pictures, but I think the stark text will do this time.

 

What Reading Held Out

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I guess God has been trying to show me something for a bit. I read a lot, and almost all the books lately have sent the same message. Let me give you a list:

The World That We Knew by Alice Hoffman
Wanderers by Chuck Wendig
A Column of Fire by Ken Follet
The Cave and The Light by Arthur Herman
A Fair Maiden by Joyce Carol Oates
The Sisters of the Winter Wood by Rena Rossner
The Templars by Dan Jones (my current read)

The message is we human beings do a lot of damage to one another in our disrespect for the freedom to have our own opinions, beliefs, and bodies. I do not go looking for messages when I pick reads. I read for enjoyment and to learn.

Some of the things these books have shown me, I did not realize. If you want to delve into it, grab any one of them. All are excellent.

We have been systemically eliminating people and demeaning them for the longest time. Maybe not you and I, but the race of human beings. I feel each one of us should make an effort to lift others up and ennoble them at every opportunity. The world is hard, and it tears at us. Even when we are not subjected to persecution or denigration, our selves can turn against us and bring pain.

Sometimes I feel I should not write or that I write poorly, but I love people, and I needed to say something. Differences make us gloriously unique and beautiful, it would be so wonderful if all of us began to celebrate the varieties of people we are. When we hurt someone else, we hurt ourselves, that should stop. Kindness, it brings smiles, and we are so precious, sharing smiles will increase our happiness quotient.

 

I am only me
You are steadfastly you, too,
But what together
We may become, can changing
History be much greater
Than we individuals
Can in imagination
See, for creativity
Prospers in community,
Love then guides humanity.

 

We are, this present,
Past hopes, prayer, bright future dreams,
The promise love brings.

 

This day like others
I have loved, slips smooth away
Like water over
Rocks which cannot capture it
Even for a brief moment.

 

As a prompt, create something, in whatever form that helps your awareness of how you can befriend and uplift someone else.

Three things for which I am thankful today: Food that nourishes me, Family and Friends who love me, and All the beautiful things with which I have been blessed.

I thank you for your visit, you may follow Haphazard Creative should you wish, or I hope you will return.

May love and smiles soften your journey,
Jo Ann

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Observations

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Someone on Twitter was told to go away and die. I wonder if people realize how absolutely horrible and devastating, it is to say that to another human being.

Words are immensely forceful. As the Bible says, the tongue has the power of life and death. The reason is words have meaning and can create states in our minds. In our world, the power extends beyond speaking to all we write.

I wrote something affirming in answer to the tweet, “You sweep that trash away. Realize you are lovely, valuable, precious, and needed. You have a purpose and a reason. Love and goodness are surrounding you. Reach out to those who appreciate you or go find people who do. Do not give up. You are so special. Bless you.”

We must be about a positive impact on others. Love is the only life, and we must each ensure others are embraced, encouraged, and inspired.

There is enough pain in the universe without nasty words, I mean words that break hearts and souls. People attempt to be tough, and that is admirable, but at the core, our selves are fragile. Everyone needs appreciation. The battles we fight with life do incalculable damage, the least we may do is be kind and loving when we interact. It takes a bit of effort, but it could change a life from destruction and disaster to blessing and love in action.

Do not speak, nor write, in the heat of anger. It takes self-control to master your rage, but we all know this monster is not one the world requires, at all. The old saying, if you cannot say something kind, say nothing at all, has considerable merit. If we remember, we can forestall unleashing much torture on others and ourselves.

Sure, we misspeak or write things in a moment of provocation, but if we consistently curb hurtful words, we can improve our communications; with us, the community of mankind becomes more tolerant and loving.

 

Further thoughts…

Life can break your heart in many ways, still, give your love away. The more passion you share, the fuller your heart, so you can go on giving.

When you hurt and suffer, do not give up, you are stronger than you know. Pain helps you grow in understanding. The experiences will equip you with wisdom to provide someone who needs help with comfort.

If you have doubts, do not quit. As you keep going, you will learn more about faith and trust. After you do what presented as impossible, someone else will follow your example to success.

The struggle is never one of us alone. Others go before, and others come behind. We see the ones who slay giants, and we are inspired to conquer those rushing at us with deadly focus on our dreams and lives. The precious ones who follow take heart from our devotion and victories.

All humanity is joined, and the future depends on you and I to carry on. We have meaning and purpose because every life is significant. God loves and adores us every single one. We are given for love, for life, for joy, for abundance, for all, and forever.

 

These were written in my journal, longhand, during the night. I find when I type things in that editing changes occur. I am less exacting in my journal. The journal is, however, a proving ground. I can be myself on the page, where text, it exerts some logic that I find challenging.

I hope you are enjoying your days. Surround yourself with love and beauty. Let no one dissuade you from the fact you are essential. As much as you may, eliminate negativity from your attitudes and your life. Gratitude is a source of solace in times of turmoil. Be mindful of the great blessings in your life. As Thanksgiving comes about, meditate on goodness.

I am grateful:

  1.   I have family and friends who love me.
  2.   There is such ample opportunity to live.
  3.   My dogs are good company.
  4.   I was able to accomplish a lot in the house during the week.
  5.   I have writing, art, reading, music, and more to help me maintain some balance.

You are priceless, always remember who you are, a precious being come from love and living love.

As a prompt: Write, or otherwise create, something that will encourage others to hold on and then, if you can, share it. You may find that in the creation, your spirit is lifted. This is one of the tremendous gifts of positive communication. It helps us float over the waves even as it prevents someone else from drowning in the depths.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I hope you take away something that helps you on your journey. There is a follow button, or simply come back when you wish.

Keep yourself grounded in the present, but plan as you can for the future. It comes rushing like calvary, and you must prepare or be taken by the storm. Be well, do well, and God bless you always.

Always,
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Social, I Suppose

Decision Point

You like lemon drops
I prefer spicy red hots,
Can we still be friends?
Can our yellows, reds, mingle?
Do sour and hot speak, emote?
Would we need to shove
Our preferences, tastes, down
One another’s throat?
I think given space and time
We can share our love as friends.

Erotica Avec Moi

I want to lay you
Down on freshly laundered pure
White sheets, soft as mink,
Becoming entangled like
Stars in cosmic clouds gleaming
With passion’s light dew,
Sweet escaping sighs released
As we learn precious
Togetherness can delight
Lips and tongues discovered new.

Monday, November 4, 2019

Willful
Abuse
Radicalized

Every person is
Some parent’s treasured baby
Whose birth was an Event;
If blood is spilled, at what cost?
Tears drowning, an ocean flow.

Someone different despised
Loaded missiles in idle conversation
Tearing a visage apart,
No safety on which to depend;
Maybe driven reckless to an end.

Corporate priorities
Accelerating profit margins;
Hours near unending or brief, plenty of pain disregarded,
Limiting accommodations, promotion recommendations,
Eliminating benefits, cutting back, workers fail.

Pointless politicians
Preying on public insecurities
Inciting mobs, another election
A million to furnish the mansion,
People’s needs less meaningful than drapes.

A bevy of youngsters, college denied,
By fiscal lack or instability
Sent, the guns and bullets,
To lands that savor patriot blood
Above that of many others.

Pretty flags draped, we weep,
Coffins we must somehow bear
Some parent’s treasured baby,
Now gone forever, death’s deep sleep,
Departing others, the cycle repeat.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Tuesday, November 5, 2019