Category Archives: Preventing Suicide

My Diamond Idea

DSC_0087

Most natural diamonds are formed at high temperature and pressure at depths of 140 to 190 kilometers (87 to 118 mi) in the Earth’s mantle. Carbon-containing minerals provide the carbon source, and the growth occurs over periods from 1 billion to 3.3 billion years (25% to 75% of the age of the Earth). – Definition collected from Wikipedia by Google Search.

So, basically, it takes impossibility and forever to make a diamond. We, humans, are the same, we are products of deep time, and intricate chemical and genetic process. None of us can be recognized to reach perfection. Of course, my definition of human genesis includes God, and the fulfillment of Jesus Christ, but there is a purpose in my approaching this post in this way.

I am going to delve a bit into my personal situation here, but there is some reason for that, as well. The ideas I present have long taken up a portion of my mental real estate. Over the years an outline has formed in my mind, but I was obliged to care for my Mom, who suffered Parkinson’s Disease, dementia, and a host of other illnesses for twenty years. Now the inkling there may finally be an opportunity haunts me.

There is a mental health crisis in our nation and substantially throughout the world. I am one of the ill, with a severe case of Schizo-Affective Disorder. As often happens among those of us with mental conditions, I recently confronted my care team with discontinuing medication, I was told in no uncertain terms, “You cannot function without your medication.” Not the answer I ardently desired, but the expected one. I have lived this disease since 1981, and I tend to think I may have been a part of it even earlier. I want a miracle, it is very highly unlikely that will occur.

In treatment, on medication, I am incredibly functional. The complex idea that presents is: What if I were, with the aid of professionals, able to help others become more stable and find purpose? Some of the skills I use can be taught. I have systems and arrangements that allow me to do things as needed. These are not anything healthcare practitioners taught me.

I have learned over time to remain occupied, busying my mind always. Some of my pastimes entail minimal investment in materials. Stress, depression, paranoia, delusions, all fade when the brain is kept busy. Reading, journaling, creative writing, poetry, and art can so involve the imagination that it leaves off some of its self-destructive and harmful patterns. These are forms of self-therapy that may be taught and can help stabilize a personality. The thing I can offer is an inroad to these methods from the perspective of one encompassed by the active disease. When you live with it, you approach problems differently than one who merely learned about the conditions.

There are underserved populations for whom an open clinic could assist. Diagnosis, treatment, medications, instructions, and coping skills wrapped in creativity could be of life-changing help. Alas, I have no funds to attempt this, but I am convinced there is work to be done with which I could be of assistance, though I have no degree. I would also be pleased to have a viable income stream again.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Comment on Red Flag Laws

DSC_0179

I just read an excellent article in The Washington Post about red flag laws that allow confiscation of guns from those who have exhibited a tendency to violence sufficient that someone close to them petitions the court for an order. This to me seems a good idea. It has likely prevented many deaths by suicide and some homicides and mass killings. I think most of us would agree that those with active suicidal ideation, those who have harmed someone in acts of domestic violence or through excessive bullying, and those who make violent threats which are credible should no longer possess weapons. The guns could be returned after a court deemed the danger past.

Understand, I am not in support of drastic measures regarding gun control. I believe in second amendment rights. I grew up with guns, I am a competent marksman, I enjoy shooting, I would never support gun confiscation across the board. Incidentally, I do not have any firearms, but no one took them. I do, however, believe there are situations where people pose a danger to themselves and others. In these instances removing firearms from ready availability can and does save lives.

Until our country finds a better way to help those who are mentally ill or exhibit signs of distorted mental states, this might be a good measure for adoption. Even in cases where psychological instability is not in evidence, but violence is indicated this could be beneficial. It would work as a kind of cooling down period. Anger, hurt, depression, fear are all terrible emotional disturbances which can cause people to act irrationally and commit regrettable acts. Control can be lost. An out of control human with a gun is a dangerous and lethal predator.

My gun patriots, I stand with you, keep your guns, I feel safer knowing you have them. My gun control friends, this is a measure that might find traction and provide some modicum of safety. I think it worth writing you all about. People under duress and under the influence of urges toward self-harm or murder should not have guns. That is a fact. We all want the violence to end. Can we work together?

The difficulty I see is this requires a tremendous amount of accountability and honesty on the part of those making the recommendations. I should hope our legal system would be able to use means to discern when there was a need and when not.

By the way that is from my heart. The WP did not cover it like that and Facebook will not post the article with its new fake media crap. I do not usually tag a large number of friends, but I would like a mix to see this and am quite sure the feeds have limits now.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Cry Of A Skirmish, Become Battle

DSC_0191
I have these two hands
Chock full of everything and
Nothing matters but
The fact loneliness, silence
Surround me with a woven
Shourd spun by a spider huge
Enough to swallow camels
Unable to pass through needles.
Still this fight, it is my fight
I will not give up, nor quit;
Nobody, nothing has ever
Beaten me, and now is no
Time to embrace my defeat.
Sure, I have been down, fallen,
But being at the bottom
Is not a place to concede,
The floor is sure beneath you
So you build, build skyscrapers
Rockets, starships, transporters;
Choose the future, create
Technology to carry
You where you wish to begin.
Even if you use only words
Describing the dreams held up
To challenge the entropy
Chaos that dwell threatening
In the dust and grime that swirl
Eroding marvels some worship.
What they do not know, cannot
Be told them, refusing the message
You cannot make them submit
It will be, if it will be,
When it happens, if it does.
You just be you, and be best
That you can be, that you know
How, love has you, and you have
Love enough to inspire, incite
Others to find the greatness
Contained beneath decaying skin
In the very heart of the self
Who is a wisp of shallow breath,
Evanescent, easily
Aborted in the crush of
Moments that slip quick away
Like motes in passing sunbeams.
Rush to the helm, take the wheel,
Drive your ship with dignity,
Care, choose your freight with delight
Do not weigh yourself excessively
Accepting problems others
Create for you, find solutions
No one can attempt besides you.
There is trouble, sadness, tears,
But those are not destiny;
Destiny lies at a time,
Beyond time, a place outside
Space, the heart contains the seeds
Of creativity, eternity,
The ability to transcend
To love deeper and wider
Than imagination knows.
Children of the Creator,
Children of the Forever King,
We are capable of living
Abundance, Heaven on Earth.
Broken, shattered, maybe, but
Keep watching, there are miracles
Unbelievable, we are yet to see.
I know the ending of the story
And the triumphal winner
Calls us, Beloved, and He
Saves us eternally.
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
These last two poems are a bit unusual for me. My gratitude list and prompt are in the first of the three entries I have made today. I realize no one liked it, but it had worth.
I am grateful my creativity knows no bounds and that my voice is mine. Being creative, being an original, is one thing no one can take away.
As a prompt, think about the above statement. What freedom, what license does it give you?
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Through Tears, Encouragement

DSC_0255
Somehow we have to hang on.
Don’t ask me how
because my grip is fading.
 
Remember though,
if we are not strong
enough to go on,
the world we made
will disappear, and those
we love will never know
who they could be
with us at their sides.
Maybe, we can hope,
the world will be a little
more grounded, a little
more real, have a little
more love because
we are willing to grapple
reality and pin it down.
We can make it what it
has to be for us to
keep on, keeping on.
We are not cowards
because we hurt,
we are oceans of tears
that wash away the evil
and redeem it in love
that is stronger than
the giants that oppose us.
No matter, we are
the victors, because we
create what will drive us
through the future and
banish the pain, a ghost
we refuse to allow to haunt.
All the unhappiness
is a shade, passing before
the window, hiding the light,
but the Son, the love
remains, we just have
to dispel the shadow.
 
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan