It was Saturday, It was Real

IMG_20180311_182740.jpg

2018.03.10 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 1

 

This is the first of four entries written yesterday. I think I am going to begin posting the actual pages instead of transcribing them. It gives a better window into my process and requires me to work harder because there is no spelling or grammar checker when I use handwriting.

Honest work made true
By careful hands, gifted mind,
No pretense involved.

2018.03.10 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 40002

In my job, I handle enough errors that I came to this conclusion. Even though that is only a few hours a month, it leaves the impression I do not wish to see more. I am available for copy editing at a price, but torture, no. I get migraines because I so want to fix things.

2018.03.10 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 40003

This surprised me. I did not know this was what I would write. It became more profound than I intended and brought things to my attention I was unaware I believed. I discover myself as I write, and sometimes, I have no idea who I am. This is the reason writing is such crucial exploratory work.

2018.03.10 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 40004

If you like the journal pages, please let me know. If not, express that as well. I am so thankful for those of you who take time to read my meanderings. When I know you have found merit in what I do, it makes me feel maybe there is a chance that my creations could find a home in the world of book publishing.

As a prompt, if there was something in what I discussed that you would like to explore in relation to yourself, go ahead. Or simply write something. Live on the page, it is kind of like speaking aloud.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. You are much appreciated. If you wish; follow the site, if not, make this your destination in the future. God be with you in all your ways and days. Blessings upon you.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Journals and Entries

IMG_20180309_232949.jpg

The top journal is Gratitude; the black one is However, Whenever, Whatever; the bottom one is my Brain Dump Notebook which I finished Friday, March 9, 2018.

I think some of you realize I have been struggling a lot lately. It goes and comes. I have an antidote I sometimes use, a Gratitude List. I started a new journal expressly for that purpose. Two entries in, plus journal entries in However, Whenever, Whatever; and reading over the Brain Dump Notebook I just completed, and I am ditching most of the despair. I have made a lot of progress since losing Mom. I see it on these pages.

I highly recommend making Gratitude Lists at least once a week. This counting of blessings grounds us in our lives, which we can so quickly lose touch with in many ways.

Journals are also significant psychological tools, helping work through problems and find creative solutions to our challenges. Writing every day is not necessary, though the more frequently the device is used, the more effective it becomes.

2018.03.09 Gratitude Journal2018.03.10 Gratitude Journal

You can guess the prompt, get out one of those journals which I know you have and dedicate it to Gratitude. Make it daily or weekly, but make it a habit. It will help you deal with the life you live. It will encourage to take nothing for granted, it will help you realize the struggles of others. Most of all, it will challenge you to be your best self.

Life is a gift, we should be thankful for it and all the many possessions that make it richer. Our friends, families, and pets are treasures beyond value.

Forgive me for being away, I have been in crisis mode. Had to go over a year of writing to realize I have survived.

Servants on Mission

DSC_0570

Servants on Mission

The light near their end
Shines brighter than many at
Noonday ever will;
For they tamed all their hunger
Placed their appetite in chains.

Not chasing money
They chose tight fiscal restraint
Choosing comfort for
Themselves and those whom they serve,
Elevating the prostrate.

Raising those passed by,
Overlooked by the mighty,
From stations of lack
To circles of influence
Where more are motivated.

The Kingdom of Love
Overcomes the evil one,
The Gospel is preached
Bright new converts learn to teach,
The message spreads far and wide.

Courageous soldiers
Bearing the banner of Christ
Overtake the field
For the harvest now is ripe,
The Master’s mission cheers hearts.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Monday, February 26, 2018

This was written on reflection of the New Testament saints, and because of some magnificent missionaries who I know. The line about comfort is not about ease and things of the world, but about the spiritual support of abiding in the Lord.

I have been writing, a lot, but I have felt posting was futile so I have left off doing it.

My Diamond Idea

DSC_0087

Most natural diamonds are formed at high temperature and pressure at depths of 140 to 190 kilometers (87 to 118 mi) in the Earth’s mantle. Carbon-containing minerals provide the carbon source, and the growth occurs over periods from 1 billion to 3.3 billion years (25% to 75% of the age of the Earth). – Definition collected from Wikipedia by Google Search.

So, basically, it takes impossibility and forever to make a diamond. We, humans, are the same, we are products of deep time, and intricate chemical and genetic process. None of us can be recognized to reach perfection. Of course, my definition of human genesis includes God, and the fulfillment of Jesus Christ, but there is a purpose in my approaching this post in this way.

I am going to delve a bit into my personal situation here, but there is some reason for that, as well. The ideas I present have long taken up a portion of my mental real estate. Over the years an outline has formed in my mind, but I was obliged to care for my Mom, who suffered Parkinson’s Disease, dementia, and a host of other illnesses for twenty years. Now the inkling there may finally be an opportunity haunts me.

There is a mental health crisis in our nation and substantially throughout the world. I am one of the ill, with a severe case of Schizo-Affective Disorder. As often happens among those of us with mental conditions, I recently confronted my care team with discontinuing medication, I was told in no uncertain terms, “You cannot function without your medication.” Not the answer I ardently desired, but the expected one. I have lived this disease since 1981, and I tend to think I may have been a part of it even earlier. I want a miracle, it is very highly unlikely that will occur.

In treatment, on medication, I am incredibly functional. The complex idea that presents is: What if I were, with the aid of professionals, able to help others become more stable and find purpose? Some of the skills I use can be taught. I have systems and arrangements that allow me to do things as needed. These are not anything healthcare practitioners taught me.

I have learned over time to remain occupied, busying my mind always. Some of my pastimes entail minimal investment in materials. Stress, depression, paranoia, delusions, all fade when the brain is kept busy. Reading, journaling, creative writing, poetry, and art can so involve the imagination that it leaves off some of its self-destructive and harmful patterns. These are forms of self-therapy that may be taught and can help stabilize a personality. The thing I can offer is an inroad to these methods from the perspective of one encompassed by the active disease. When you live with it, you approach problems differently than one who merely learned about the conditions.

There are underserved populations for whom an open clinic could assist. Diagnosis, treatment, medications, instructions, and coping skills wrapped in creativity could be of life-changing help. Alas, I have no funds to attempt this, but I am convinced there is work to be done with which I could be of assistance, though I have no degree. I would also be pleased to have a viable income stream again.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Center

It all falls apart,
But even so, it all still
Comes back together;
Troubles happen all over
It is tough out on the street.

Ask George Washington,
Or maybe Mister Franklin,
Both will tell you, right,
There are seldom problems new;
People contain disturbance.

Peace does continue
Within the sheltering walls
Where love maintains sway
In hearts unafraid to be
Generous, caring, and kind.

Humans have courage,
Will to express such feelings
As cause gentleness
Sharing the core of being;
An unconditional love.

When it all seems lost,
Hope appears nearly vanquished,
Never despair, quit;
The storm cannot ever hold,
Love rushes back like lightning.

DSC_0032

I have written a great deal more than this latest poem today. I seem to be in a productive place. I am enjoying the flow of words and ideas.

I am grateful:

  1. There are inspiring books upon which to feast.
  2.  I remembered the pie.
  3.  I emptied a cabinet that contained Mom’s medicines.
  4.  Reba called, even though it was late.
  5.  I have choices for a replacement notebook when this one I have is full.
  6.  I have become somewhat fond of Classical Music.
  7.  I paid the bills without running entirely out of money.

As a prompt, create something with a downtempo theme which then you raise to inspirational heights. Do not allow the doldrums to overcome. You are blessed, share your plenty through your art.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I hope you will follow the site by clicking the button, or come back when opportunity allows. Comments are always welcome, as are questions. God Bless and Keep You, Every Day, Everyway, Always and Forever.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan