Category Archives: Suicide

It Called For Haiku

Brown Teddy

If you have been with me awhile you know one of my favorite things to write is haiku. I will remind you that a haiku is a form of counted syllable poetry consisting of three lines that number five – seven – five syllables. In the original, haiku were usually nature poems. I have, over the years, adopted my own way of doing them, as long as the syllables add up, anything goes.

As a prompt, I recommend you write some haiku; however, you choose.

I had written two and a half dismal pages in my journal, and then on the new page, the haiku took over. As usual, everything about my mood got turned upside down. I  cannot ever remain in depression and create haiku. For me, this short form is a therapy. I do not really invite haiku, they just occur. So, enjoy.
1.
We have seen the stars,
We are the material
Making them shine bright.

2.
Nothing is beyond
Creativity’s power,
It brings life to life.

3.
You are not alone,
The universe cheers efforts
You make to succeed.

4.
When suicide seems
A viable solution,
Reach out, share your love.

5.
You! Never forget,
Life is love and love becomes
Reason and purpose.

6.
Creativity
Lodges within every soul,
Building life, a whole.

7.
It may not go right,
But failure is no reason
To desert your dreams.

8.
Just create something,
See where the making takes you,
Discover yourself.

9.
If you feel down, lost,
Grab paper and pen, see if
You find your way back.

See, there is no way to stay in the doldrums and write haiku. Try it, you will see.

I am grateful for the creativity God blesses each person with, that they may make the world a better place. I am also thankful for your visit here today. I hope you will follow the website by clicking the button or that you will come back soon. If you enjoyed this entry, take some time to peruse some of the other material here. The site is mainly devoted to creativity, and you might find some edifying ideas to inspire your own work. None of us lives in a vacuum, we are supported by each other. Love carries us through the best of times and those that are very difficult. Helping one another makes the whole stay together.

Remember, no matter what, there are people to whom you are a treasure, and your love for others maintains many peoples’ feelings of worth.

Be well. Create. God Bless You, Always.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Sunday, Not According to Plan

2016-11-11 Purple flowers pieces

Sunday morning, I was going to church. I showered, dressed, loaded the Explorer, got in, turned the key and nothing happened. Therefore, I stayed home. This was not my plan. We make plans, life intervenes, it has ever been so. I did a little writing in journals, so I shall share it with you.

2018.03.11 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 1

Make sure you share yourself generously with those you love and assure them of your affection and love. Life is a mystery, it comes sudden, and it departs without permission. The most important gift we are given is the honor of sharing our dear ones’ life. No promises we make, nothing we plan, no conditions or happiness are guaranteed. Live, live abundantly, unselfishly, trusting, caring, sharing, and loving with all you are, because this second is all you can be confident you own.

2018.03.11 However, Whenever, Whatever Journal Page 20002

You may be able to break faith with your creative impulse, that is not a luxury I am privy to. Only God has more of a claim to me than does creativity, especially writing.  Because it makes demands know in my daily relationship with my mind, and the Spirit is more gentle, the compulsion to make the words known is often very strong. If you can tame your intellect, bravo to you. Mine has me in a vise grip.

2018.03.11 Gratitude Journal0003

The Samsung cell phone and I are often at war. I am always trying to maximize it for my use. What is most disconcerting is when it disappears my apps or adds some I was not asked did I want. We are at a ceasefire at present. I made major changes.

Lots of people complain about rain, but I love rain. It means there will be water in the reservoirs, to nurture flowers, trees, and crops, and it washes the air so I may breathe easier. Yes, it is messy, and sometimes no fun, but the benefits outweigh the inconveniences.

I think you might use appreciation for others as your prompt and explore what is lost when someone passes from this plane.

A heart fully shared
Is an original gift
Only you can give.

I hope your week is progressing well and to your satisfaction. Even troublesome days have rainbow moments. Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I would love to know your thoughts on this posting. Should you wish to follow the website, there is a button, if not, please come back whenever possible.

As each day passes
Remember you must forgive
To completely live.

No one will remember your Facebook statuses or tweets on Twitter, but if you spend time face to face, you will insert yourself indelibly in their memory.

No broken person
Avoided, forgotten, goes
Without compassion,
Because the shattered can see
Holes in the fabric of time.

Look to God for your joy, and you will be less disappointed than if you depend on your things. May the Lord go with you every day and every way. Blessings to you now and always.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Comment on Red Flag Laws

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I just read an excellent article in The Washington Post about red flag laws that allow confiscation of guns from those who have exhibited a tendency to violence sufficient that someone close to them petitions the court for an order. This to me seems a good idea. It has likely prevented many deaths by suicide and some homicides and mass killings. I think most of us would agree that those with active suicidal ideation, those who have harmed someone in acts of domestic violence or through excessive bullying, and those who make violent threats which are credible should no longer possess weapons. The guns could be returned after a court deemed the danger past.

Understand, I am not in support of drastic measures regarding gun control. I believe in second amendment rights. I grew up with guns, I am a competent marksman, I enjoy shooting, I would never support gun confiscation across the board. Incidentally, I do not have any firearms, but no one took them. I do, however, believe there are situations where people pose a danger to themselves and others. In these instances removing firearms from ready availability can and does save lives.

Until our country finds a better way to help those who are mentally ill or exhibit signs of distorted mental states, this might be a good measure for adoption. Even in cases where psychological instability is not in evidence, but violence is indicated this could be beneficial. It would work as a kind of cooling down period. Anger, hurt, depression, fear are all terrible emotional disturbances which can cause people to act irrationally and commit regrettable acts. Control can be lost. An out of control human with a gun is a dangerous and lethal predator.

My gun patriots, I stand with you, keep your guns, I feel safer knowing you have them. My gun control friends, this is a measure that might find traction and provide some modicum of safety. I think it worth writing you all about. People under duress and under the influence of urges toward self-harm or murder should not have guns. That is a fact. We all want the violence to end. Can we work together?

The difficulty I see is this requires a tremendous amount of accountability and honesty on the part of those making the recommendations. I should hope our legal system would be able to use means to discern when there was a need and when not.

By the way that is from my heart. The WP did not cover it like that and Facebook will not post the article with its new fake media crap. I do not usually tag a large number of friends, but I would like a mix to see this and am quite sure the feeds have limits now.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

How to avoid suicide this week (Repeat)

Sunday – The Christian day of worship, not a good choice for deserting this plane of existence. Since time immemorial many believe suicides are consigned to hell. The consensus on that is it is a place of infernal fire and cruel everlasting punishment. It is also purportedly populated by Satan, devils, demons and other vile characters. Should you need some help imagining what those tormentors are like, catch a few episodes of Supernatural and see the trouble they cause Sam and Dean. Maybe if you weigh it out, you will find you sooner not leave an unpleasant life only to go somewhere worse.

Monday – Always a fun day when all the crap you left in the hope of enjoying a good weekend announces itself by punching you in the face and crunching allover your toes. It may appear a prime day for an exit, but fortunately, or no, you are so busy trying to catch up, doing damage control, and attempting to get ahead, that there is no time to escape. After the struggle, kick back, laugh at the battle, take advantage of the peace, and let the day slip into history.

Tuesday – Not a standout day as the week goes, but it has a few highlights. It is when the packages you ordered before the weekend usually arrive, and the day new book releases hit the stores, so you probably ought to choose a different day. You would not want to miss that book that taught you how to do more than merely exist nor the newest, latest, greatest thing you wanted because it can change your whole world. So take your tome and gadget, find a place you can forget the rest, and lose yourself in possibilities.

Wednesday – You have reached midweek, hump day, the weekend is in sight. Why leave when you anticipate relaxation ahead? Did I hear you release a deep sighing, “yeah, right?” I know, but there are cultural myths we all have to buy to lubricate the machine of society, so just go with it. Order a pizza or grill a steak or if you are on subsistence, cook up a pot of Ramen. Have a drink, not saying it has to be alcoholic though you might gather it is implied. Stream a comedy, or play your favorite album or three, find a someone and consider something momentous together. Wednesday is not a good day to desert the followers who will forget you in a week. You have to be here to fuel the engine.

Thursday – Nothing outstanding usually happens on Thursday, (except Thanksgiving, and if you can dredge up some gratitude, it might help you find some sliver of meaning to get you through, but I would not bet on it if you are buried in the barrel of monkeys on your back). Why would you want such an ignominious death day, we all want to go out in blazing glory, uh, yeah, please do not burn the house down, fire hurts. Go for a drive, or a bike ride, or walk the dog, put the cat in a box, call someone who may be as lonely as you, well, maybe not, but try to cheer both of you up. Belay, this is not the day to die.

Friday – Congratulations, you have gained the eve of the weekend. Time to party! Take yourself out to a restaurant where the screeching is limited and let someone else prepare, serve, and clean up after your meal; after your appetite is appeased go somewhere and watch people. Observe that there are others who are making their way through life, facing some of the same obstacles as yours, and each one is still in the game. Go home and do something creative. Bring a vision of your own into the world by writing, with photos, doing art, singing, laying out your outfit for tomorrow, or anything that comes to mind to entertain you. While you are at it, you might even forget you wish to die, after all, it is a sad scene.

Saturday – Wow! Day seven, you have survived! Give yourself a gold star, okay, silver if you prefer. Forget about the bottle of pills you fantasize about, that cold metal loaded gun, quit gauging whether the extension cord will hold your weight long enough to strangle you, or if you can stand the pain of carving yourself up, and all the other myriad ways you have devised to rob posterity of your presence. It is Saturday! There are sports on television, I guess, I watch such little tv, that I am not positive, but I think so. Someone put up a new video on YouTube which is must see. There are articles everyone will discuss Monday, in the paper, or maybe nowadays you have to watch the news to get the scoop, take CNN or Fox, matters not to me; watch the latest movie at the box office. Lose yourself in media and let the notion of self-destruction fade out of your moments. After all, tomorrow is another day.

Postscript – I wrote this in my “dump notebook,” which is where I put things I never intend to use. I thought about how this might help someone or open someone’s perspective. I solicited opinions with a teaser posting on Facebook, and some few responded that I should post. There were no adverse reactions, so you found this here.

I struggle with suicide, daily. Most times I am safe, it is just a thought. Others, I plan. Talking to someone, even though they have no idea they are pushing the possibility away, often helps reframe the situation and leads to choosing life. Life is a treasure, if we end it prematurely by our hand, we have deserted all the possibilities we have to excel and succeed. We have lost confidence in ourselves, others, love, and we have laid aside our courage and chosen to quit. We are winners, every one of us is precious. We would not be alive without we have a purpose, and it is not to kill ourselves.

If you are struggling with suicidal ideation, talk to someone, let someone know, give yourself and the universe the gift of getting help, you are not hopeless, and you are not alone. People love you, even people you have no idea care. Do not leave a void on the planet because you went without reason. If you die, you will cause such a magnitude of suffering you cannot imagine. Your family, your friends, every person you know will feel guilt, sadness, grief because you are gone. They will be unable to forgive themselves for not knowing your pain, not stopping the ending of your life.

Please, I know it hurts, I see the futility, the profound hopelessness, and uselessness, all those negative feelings that can assail a heart that no longer knows a reason to go on. The truth is you belong; you are loved, you have so much to share with the world. You are needed here. You can survive. You may have to change; change can be useful. You fell many times before you walked and you could call that failure, but you got up and tried again. One day you took off walking, and you never looked back. There are future successes ahead of you. The truth is no day is a good day to die. Keep going, you can achieve greatness, and it is your responsibility to do all you can. You got this. Never Give Up.

Should you need to talk anonymously, call the hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Do what you must to make yourself safe and keep doing it until you are free.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan