Rescue By Rescue

I stood there thinking
I was only a failure,
It was time to quit;
My bonny dog barked like there
Was a reason, hackles raised.

I had thought I might
Rehome the two, someone would
Want glorious dogs
I could no longer care for;
Wookie had other ideas.

She became shadow
In my every movement,
She nudged, licked, my hands,
If I thought it all over
She believed it was not, yet.

Despite the tears, howls,
Of desperation and pain,
That fine dog of mine
Was determined this was not
Separation season, mine.

I have not the heart
To continue but it seems
The decision is
Not mine to make, the rescue,
Now is my faithful rescuer.

I face the future
Bleeding, scarred, tail between knees,
But I am resolved
To carry on the mission,
So I do not make her leave.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

I hope you had an excellent Valentine’s Day. Mine was spent with dogs alone. I am still reeling, keep thinking I am alright and then take up fresh tears again. I would rather not open this vein here, but again, I promised myself I would do this daily, so there it is.

I am not always sunshine. If I do not acknowledge the shadow, its hungry maw will swallow me screaming alive.

Do as you will, everyone does anyway. God go with you and bless your dealings and creativity. May you have better days and always strive for your best.

I assure you once I have bandaged my wounds and put myself aright, I will be rejoining the effort to win, win, and win again. It is not over. I am not done. Survivors have a way of surviving even when their will is broken, and their goals fade away. Maybe some crazy dog makes them see that no matter what is in the closet, they have to keep on until there is no other choice.

Me, the Dog, and Jesus

The shelter dog experience requires a great deal of patience (at least two I know of, do). Sometimes I look at this beautiful dog with some of the most aggravating quirks I have seen, and I think how I am also a mongrel. I do not fit the average design, but God chose me, just as He did you, to be who exactly we are. He has a purpose for every sort of difficulty I present to Him. Usually, I think He wants me to learn on Him to depend, instead of any faith I might place in me.

I do not run straight to Jesus as often as I should. My dog does not run to me, she creeps, or sometimes she has that sad, sad face that will break me open because, despite her craziness, I love her. She hurts me, I have scars, I had to wear a brace, she runs off where I have to go into strange territory miles away searching for her, and she does not always answer when I call. I am like this with my sweet Jesus too. He died on the cross because of me, that is some incredible injury. How much a disappointment it must be to Him, when He is certain He made it perfectly clear what is expected, and I go my own way, then creep to touch His hand, hoping He will fight my battles. Thankfully, He does not scream at me, as I sometimes do with the dog. He remembers that I am living a broken, sinful life, in a shattered sin-filled world and over and again He has mercy on me. My mercifulness leaves much to be desired with the dog, but we are working on it, and it improves in spurts and starts.

I do not recommend the shelter dog experience, but should you wish an object lesson on who our Father is, try it. As Alex told me, “Get a big dog, it’ll be fun, Mom.”

I do not know how my analogy stands up, and really I just wrote this off the cuff. Jesus knows I try to explain who He is to me, so maybe you will find a life with Him. It is the only life worth living and has a single promise of eternity.

The Wookie is the big dog, the tiny tot is Mom’s dog (mine now), Tribble. We might explore another story another day.

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A Sanctuary of Love

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If you are one of my online friends, I hope to inspire and encourage you, help you see the best in yourself and those around you, challenge you to share your love more generously, and show you love in my contributions here. I also hope to help you become aware that you are a creative being with much to share.

You, dear friends, are helpful to me by standing by me when I am near giving up. I have had a spate of tragedies that may have defeated me without your kindness. Always realize, when you feel insignificant, you are someone’s shining star. You may not help everyone, but your help could mean survival to someone.

As we go through this year, let’s remember to share our smiles, compliment those we can, use positive words more often than negative ones, put our judgemental selves in the back of the closet, be generous when and where we may, be helpful, create beauty, turn everywhere we go into a sanctuary of love, and never give up on life, possibilities, others, or trying to make the world a better place.

Use your gifts, talents, skills to foster a growing and intense atmosphere of compassion, where everyone is free to be who truly defines them. Let us make sure no one has to hide behind a facade for fear of unacceptance. We creatives can change the world if we embrace the abilities we maintain. We are leaders, different, untamed, free to love, able to ignite the passions of those who near our flame.

Let us choose to make of 2019 a year of breakthroughs, creative, relational, emotional, daily inspirational, sharing encouragement with all who enter our spheres. Let us prefer love, hope, joy, and positivity as we face a world that needs more like us.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan – 2019

Loss, New Grace, Conversation

In my time of absence here, I have been making an effort to recover. I lost Hope on October 10, after her battle with cancer. This is her last picture.

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On November 21, I went to the shelter, which was a new thing for me, and adopted Marbles. Marbles is a Plott Hound/Border Collie mix. She is a much bigger dog, with more energy than any I have had, and she is a challenge. She has helped get me out of my head some, which is an improvement. Tribble and I are adjusting to this new personality in our home.

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I would like to be able to say that the new puppy has made it all better, but that is a truism I cannot assert. She has made things different. I think the pain will be here for a while.

I hope all of you are having a fantastic holiday season.

I wrote this piece in my journal this morning and thought it worth sharing.

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The fitful nightmares
Visiting in deepest night,
Cannot live in light.

I am thankful:

  1. I had twelve wonderful years with Hope. She is free now of suffering.
  2. I have a new friend in Marbles, to help me with my journey.
  3. I did not awaken with a migraine today.
  4. I have some of the best friends one could hope for in a turbulent life.
  5. I read some outstanding books.
  6. I have learned life, while not always easy, is always filled with generous rewards.
  7. Love and hope remain even through the disasters of living.

As a prompt, write a mission statement of how your beliefs can lead you further on the paths of life you travel and help you deal with obstacles you encounter.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. I hope you found something edifying. If you like, follow the site or come again. I should be able to update somewhat more regularly going forward. My apologies to those who have missed me.

If life explodes your serenity, gather your love and hope, rebuild what is broken with faith that the future contains better experiences.

Be well and create something unusual at every opportunity.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan