When it all goes wrong and you are tired of the fight. When the world seems dark like a moonless night. When you feel lost, far from the light. Hold on, do not give in or give up.
In those moments when you barely stand, when doubt and fear clasp your hands, have courage. You are not forgotten; remember, you are begotten of Love.
The things you struggle with are seen by the Savior by whom you are redeemed. Take all your trouble, place it with Jesus; His mercy and grace are sufficient for every need. Through Christ, you are made an overcomer, latch on to His promise with faith and prayer. Let the Lord relieve your cares.
The relationship with Time is unreliable, Past invades present Without an invitation Giving no hint or warning. Although sometimes things Crop up like pleasant hauntings, Others much darker. Living in the stream wavers, Unfolds personality. Thoughts flinch in passing – Some neglected on arrival, Superstitious fear, If held, could these manifest? Clear concentration, be blest. Treasures run away Appear again in vision, Maybe now gain, claim, The mystery retains charm What comes, comes, as it will, still. The search, clarity, Love is the treasure, fullest Measure of life lived Whether past, present, future, All is in sharing, caring. Time unravels Pieces everywhere, chasing Forever in fog Blindfolded except when free Accorded chances to see.
How is one exact, But Also outside, in doubt? The mind is never A closed system, It knows those things, But It allows room for fault. Variables inject deviation From what seems inevitable, This present; what we, as humans Know Here is subject to unmaking. Change is a complete Norm, though norms, might Be terms to use most Sparingly, Because difference is Encountered in everything. Each creation of God – Is fashioned unique; All We see, know, are, have, Is individual, ours here To experience within The sampling being We Are and constant construct. When we awake, rise, We are like the day, beginning Anew, potential Envelopes Us in endless possibility, Loved, creative, free. Nothing is beyond our Capacity to learn, But Scattered uncertainty Grows wild as weeds in Gardens of delighted insight A misstep, an accident, Suddenly, We are gone – All we gathered, amassed, Lost as if, We never even happened.
We sketch our lives in Invisible ink on these walls Of air, earth, fire, flesh; We pass like roses, beauty, Only present a short while. Our hands busy, selves, Creating foundations for Futures never ours, Generations we offer Our best gifts, accomplishments. Now, we sing against Doubt, fear, insecurity – Fighting shadow blight Where the fruit will flourish, brave, In gardens of delight, saved From degradations, We erase with consistent Labor over years Paying in earnest, never Letting faith, hope, slip away. Love, our guiding light Though we fade in brightest glare, Almost completely Unknown, contributing hearts To lives, we wish to see free. Words cannot bring Every dream into being, But speaking, a tool, Purpose-built to encourage Change within lives reached, inspired. Plentiful, we, examples Scattered over time, what minds Mend, creating more sublime, Love, part an art, taught hands-on Driving history toward grace Still, counting every life, face, A precious gift to embrace, With confidence, each person Has meaning, purpose, reason, Position in time and space.
Haphazard Creative has always been a place to share creativity. I have not made much of my life issues here. I am going to now.
I am having a hard time dealing with things. I had a medication change at my last appointment. My doctor and I discussed escalating symptoms.
Since I lost my Mom, it has been increasingly difficult for me to believe I have a purpose. Being alone is not ideal, then going out is hard because I tend to isolate myself. I have trust issues exacerbated by paranoia.
My insecurity and self-censure grow. I am trying to continue a creative practice, but it is steadily more difficult. Dealing with Schizo-Affective Disorder has never been easy, but before, I had family support with me. I could reality check when I needed it. I believe it is why I have thus far survived.
I am trying to get a daytime schedule in the midst of all this, and it is complicating matters. I am typically a night owl.
I have several pain issues too.
Please be patient as I try to get through everything that is taxing me. I am going to attempt continuation, but tonight I feel like creativity is a bit luxurious. I need to survive; living is another level.
Elements may all Come together to grant dreams But it sometimes seems That everything conspires to Slow progress on every track.