Nothing Less

Entry Fifteen – Creativity Project 2023

There is no allowance
In some hearts; differences
Are cause for criticism,
Not recognizing we all
See the sky, ocean,
And breathe alike.
We crave being known,
Treasured, cherished, accepted
Safely by everyone we meet.
Love is a requirement
In being, living, becoming
Who we are here to be.
Divisions among us stifle
Creativity, confidence, courage
And the will to imagine
Dreams can come true.
We often believe ourselves
So much less than
Our potential because
Of labels reminding each of us
We will never be _______ enough.
Love, enwrapping our souls,
Tells us we can climb –
Given the opportunity – higher.
God is for us, Him being Love,
We are precious no matter
Our status or conditions,
Our differences are gorgeous.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
Tuesday, January 31, 2023

Please do not be thrown by my use of God’s and Jesus’ names. Whatever your beliefs, you are welcome here. I am not proselytizing; just stating what I have found for me. I hope all will see Love in me and know His Love is my reason. I live only by Christ’s allowance.

Prompt: Take the word “Divisions” and let it lead you. Create something!

I had to take time out. There were things well beyond my processing ability. It is not over yet, but I felt I could check-in.

Going out is so hard, and I always feel watched, judged, and found lacking in my ability to interact. Avoidance is a blanket around me because I cannot believe anyone likes me as I am. I hide; I cannot believe in myself. I have been an outcast too often to think I belong. TMI, yeah, me.

I Am Thankful: 1. I can read and write. 2. I have some artistic abilities. 3. I am still here, despite suicidal thoughts; I cannot kill myself, because every time I try, I end up in worse shape. So, until God is ready, I remain, but my mind fights me. 4. It has been less cold the last few days. 5. Music reminds me to hope.

Your visit here at Haphazard Creative means more than I have words to express. Please comment, follow, and like what you found worthwhile. If you know others who might be interested, please share. Come back when you have moments to spare.

I hope February means more entries, but there are daunting days ahead for me. I can only try to post here. Struggles are on every front and I am unequal to each and all.

God Bless You and Yours Eternally! Cast your cares (burdens) upon the Lord Jesus Christ because He Loves you!

All material on Haphazard Creative (haphazardcreative.com) and sister site, Chronicles (hopefuljo.com) is copyright © JoAnn Joyce Anita Jordan unless otherwise stated. If you wish to use it elsewhere, please ask permission and credit it to me. I made this! This post was created on my cellphone.

Ever & Always,
Jo Ann

Pages, Pages

Entry Twelve – 2023 Creativity Project

I explored it all in my journal, but there remains so much to say. I am fighting to stand today.

© Jo Ann J. A.Jordan – Journal Page
Journal Page – © Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
© Jo Ann J. A.Jordan – Journal Page
Journal Page – Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan – Journal Page

I am at home on journal pages, but even so, there are things I never bring myself to say. How would I keep you? You would turn away.

Always & Ever,
Jo Ann

First Continued…

Entry Two
Sunday, January 1, 2023

My work continues today. I did art, which is a a promising thing. I also wrote more, which you may judge for yourself.

Journal Page – © Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
ArtWork – © Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

The magic of a Creativity Project is I work more. I must tell you. I love this new journal. The paper is recycled, and it is fantastic.

Journal Page – © Jo Ann J. A. Jordan
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan – Journal Page

You may notice that my ink varies. I have an abundance of pens and change them out with each page. I love pens. They are great tools.

Prompt: Challenge yourself to do something you usually avoid within your creative sphere. Share it, as have I, if you dare.

Thank you so much for visiting my site. I know your time is precious, and I am honored you spent some with me. I hope you found something to encourage and inspire you. If you appreciate my effort, please leave a like or a comment. These are always a help to me, giving me an indication I should continue.

Always & Ever,
Jo Ann

2022 Creativity Project – April 3

Scares Out There

My dad worked on the equipment which compacted the waste that came into the landfill adjacent to one of the big metropolitan cemeteries. I accompanied him to work often.

I never claim to understand my life; I have, with some effort, come to accept most of it.

There were always odd interactions with machines. Most of them drew scant attention because they happened with other people present. These things are still a blight upon my life and have grown worse with the advent of technology.

The first time one of the dozers parked on the cemetery access lane cranked itself up as I walked by was a bit unnerving. The more times it happened, the less it could be explained as unrelated to my presence.

At the time, I wondered if some friendly residents were protesting my driving in the cemetery as I learned how. I never ran off the lanes or drove exceedingly fast, avoiding all processions. If a tent was over an open grave, I did not go near that area. So, I think it improbable I was disturbing anyone’s peace.

The colossal mausoleum, which looked like a gothic castle, fascinated me. I wanted to see how brave I was. I asked the caretaker of the building if a few friends and I could come about an hour before dark and stay until 3 am. I never dreamed he would say, “Why not? Just don’t break anything or leave any trash.”

I was the only girl in our Dungeons & Dragons group, so securing this little adventure stood to raise my cred. The thing I never expressed to anyone beforehand was that I was beyond terrified. This was when I was sixteen, and I had been reading some superb horror and science fiction ever since I left the children’s section in the library.

I always had an overactive imagination, plus I believed in ghosts.
When the evening arrived, the guys came with machetes, drinks, and snacks. There was a staff or two in evidence, as well. I brought flashlights, enough for the group. I never met a flashlight I was unwilling, given the opportunity, to possess.

When we entered the building, it was brightly lit. No sweat, everyone was okay. I walked down a corridor and had steps following close, so I thought one of the gang was there. When I turned around to invite them up beside me, no one was in sight. Creepy.

When the lights went down, I began to notice echoes. Everything we did was mirrored in sound. The thing that almost sent my courageous friends and me scurrying for the doors; when we were perfectly quiet and motionless, we could hear ourselves moving around engaged in novel conversations.

I wanted to go up in the attic; I mean, when would I ever have others to go with me? We climbed the corkscrew stairs up to the top floor. It was strange; there were barrels and boxes stacked everywhere. Some had food labels, and some had poison labels. The government seemed to have hijacked this space for disaster supplies. I did not like the idea of foodstuffs and weapons stockpiled so nearly together.

We started back downstairs with me near the rear. I noticed the guys had made a half-circle at the bottom. When I hit the floor, the one behind me pushed me forward, and all the rest made growling sounds and reached out for me. You may understand; I screamed and left the building like a Pomeranian with its ears on fire.

I almost drove home and left them there. I could have in good conscience. It would have served them right. I made them think so; I started the Cadillac and headed for the gated entrance. They were running to catch the car. I have half a heart that functions, so I unlocked the doors and let them in.

There is another mausoleum story, but I think it is for a later date.

Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Means

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

I have been meaning
To explain who I am, may be,
Is not always who
Strictly I mean as defined
By this voice, words, these two feet.

My eyes carry clues,
But even they lack evidence
Because the heart-beat
In my chest and the preserve
Of my mind go further, deep.

What you see is not
Often what you get, riches
Are hidden in doubt
Covered in terrible fear
Holding back, choking on tears.

I cannot stand here
Yet, I do, as I believe
I must. Why? Because
Someone should do what it takes
To wake the community,

Convey mentally ill
Can live without most restraints
Doing possible
Like anyone, though made harder,
Complications, divergent ways,

Creativity
Finds a flowing flood falls fast
Dipped body whole
Going within and without
Never giving up or in,

The voice louder, in
Color brighter, some wilder,
Linked like all others,
Human, as someone newborn,
Those long-lived; loved thoroughly,

The same/different,
Untamed, giving, love alive,
God placed – no mistake,
Painting history’s pages
With sharing, reach, making much.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

Gratitude List

I am thankful:
1. I have been waking earlier.
2. I am enjoying my corded keyboard and mouse.
3. I have recently finished several books.
4. I created art this morning.
5. I appreciate that I have a home.

Prompt
Think about your life and the human condition and pick an instance that appeals from which to create a written or artistic work.

© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan