Life Intrudes

Haphazard Creative has always been a place to share creativity. I have not made much of my life issues here. I am going to now.

I am having a hard time dealing with things. I had a medication change at my last appointment. My doctor and I discussed escalating symptoms.

Since I lost my Mom, it has been increasingly difficult for me to believe I have a purpose. Being alone is not ideal, then going out is hard because I tend to isolate myself. I have trust issues exacerbated by paranoia.

My insecurity and self-censure grow. I am trying to continue a creative practice, but it is steadily more difficult. Dealing with Schizo-Affective Disorder has never been easy, but before, I had family support with me. I could reality check when I needed it. I believe it is why I have thus far survived.

I am trying to get a daytime schedule in the midst of all this, and it is complicating matters. I am typically a night owl.

I have several pain issues too.

Please be patient as I try to get through everything that is taxing me. I am going to attempt continuation, but tonight I feel like creativity is a bit luxurious. I need to survive; living is another level.

Elements may all
Come together to grant dreams
But it sometimes seems
That everything conspires to
Slow progress on every track.

Instinct

Life feels like a dog bite
When things are not
Going right,
But if you let hope
Catch hold of you,
It brings the dog
Around to loving you.

Do We…

Do we too quickly
Forget those we sudden lost?
Do we count our love
Easily replaced by one
Who comes new into our lives?
Do we pray Heaven
Has sweet mercy on everyone?
Days are short, life brief,
Have we given in and up
Because change is difficult?
Are we listening
To the cares others admit?
Are souls important,
Do we point them to matters
Concerning eternity?
Do we pray the end
Of war, fear, pain, loss, hunger?
Maybe we should act –
We could become bodies
Ministering toward LIFE!

It came to me that the Coronavirus crisis has some parallels to the devastation we felt after September 11th. Not so many were lost on 911, but we came together, forgetting all our divisions. Globally we need to do the same to recover and make the world better than it was before this disaster.

Tonight, I put on the music that came out to raise money for victims of 911. If you have some of those discs or MP3s loaded somewhere, maybe you could give them a listen.

Remember, if we all work together, there is almost nothing the people of the world are unable to accomplish.

Ever-More

When you feel
When you are real
When you willingly reveal
The truth of things
You are going through
You transmit the depth
Of your self, your soul,
To those who meet you
On the page, the stage,
In life as the living goes.
Everyone present becomes,
Knows the reality, creativity,
Emotion and reason
Flow and grow beyond
Illusion filling the senses
Overcoming restrictions
With the boundless force
Of everlasting love;
Differences drop away
Everyone opens themselves
All who are, meet, are one.
So be courageous when you
Perform your acts of devotion
Allow without concealing
Be authentic, be you,
Be alive with the love
That reveals precisely who you
Live the freedom to be.
Never hide how much you feel
The depth of all the caring,
You are a gift to lift the lives
Of others who are here, humanity.

Prior/Unto

We wondered about
What happened if the world stopped –
Then we began to
See into who we could be
When all things changed completely.
We did not want all
The actions taking place here
Everywhere in time;
Few of us became able
To understand life going on.
Even so, we persevered
Dealing with the changes as
If everything was
Alright, and we learned we could
Come together – separate but as one,
To challenge living going on.