Rebel Yell by Billy Idol It’s Only Rock and Roll by The Rolling Stones I Write the Songs by Barry Manilow The Grand Illusion by Styx Get Down, Make Love by Queen Some Like It Hot by Power Station Closer by The Firm
I have moved to this list of songs in the last little while after doing an hour and a half working on some grooming for the Tribble.
Earlier today, I finally made it to town for medication, groceries, and sodas. I was dying without soda.
Before all of this transpired, I wrote in my journal, but the music and my movement had my heart rate up to 139, and I think I will do this tonight.
Haphazard Creative has always been a place to share creativity. I have not made much of my life issues here. I am going to now.
I am having a hard time dealing with things. I had a medication change at my last appointment. My doctor and I discussed escalating symptoms.
Since I lost my Mom, it has been increasingly difficult for me to believe I have a purpose. Being alone is not ideal, then going out is hard because I tend to isolate myself. I have trust issues exacerbated by paranoia.
My insecurity and self-censure grow. I am trying to continue a creative practice, but it is steadily more difficult. Dealing with Schizo-Affective Disorder has never been easy, but before, I had family support with me. I could reality check when I needed it. I believe it is why I have thus far survived.
I am trying to get a daytime schedule in the midst of all this, and it is complicating matters. I am typically a night owl.
I have several pain issues too.
Please be patient as I try to get through everything that is taxing me. I am going to attempt continuation, but tonight I feel like creativity is a bit luxurious. I need to survive; living is another level.
Elements may all Come together to grant dreams But it sometimes seems That everything conspires to Slow progress on every track.
Another shift, Will additional hours be required? From the beginning, nurses, doctors – Going short of peaceful sleep. Families wondering when All members will again meet. The coronavirus, cruel As a murderer, random as A violent hurricane. Every day at least one Slips away in isolation From those loved and cherished. Caregivers struggle with guilt, Was enough done? Why this senseless loss? So many battles fought, So little medicine can do, Hoping always for a breakthrough. Willing hearts on fire With love for their fellow man Sacrificing whatever they can To beat a disease consuming People throughout all lands. Loving, like angels, sharing All their being to help those Who continue to need them.
Three hours of sleep nightly, one cannot long abide. However, once medication changes are absorbed, there can be improvements. Even now, a few days in much has been accomplished.
I am quite tired this evening, so I am only writing a few words.When youu are trying to catch up, it is wise not to try to do everything at once. Time was invented to keep everything from happening at once. Pace yourself to protect yourself. Tomorrow, after all, is another day. Should it not arrive your plans will have little validity anyway.
I talked to a lady today with life tragedies that were overwhelming. At one point her mental state had affected her physical state to the place she was confined to a walker. Her faith in God remained steadfast, and today, she is an active and happy 70-year-old
Life may deal us blows, but we know whom we trust, and we can stand in faith against the storm.
I hope this weekend gives you reasons to rejoice. I am likely confined for a day or two. I way overdid what I have the stamina for accomplishing. You know when you set a goal, and the deadline walks in and sits right beside you. It has been that week.
I challenge you to set one small goal and work on it cosistently over an appropriate amout of time and reward yourself at the completion.
Our halos fell off Many long years ago, or Perhaps never once Were ours, here to wear, joy share; Life is bizarre now, never The things one expects, Disorganized, time of plague. Disaster movies Did not well prepare us all; Constant stress, no withdrawal. Government, all states Of confusion, shattered gates, Disillusion where Clear-eyed justice is sorely Needed in citizens’ control. Pandemic, if we Can believe it, some less so, Numbers rising much Higher, how can anyone Deny contagion, people die. If you love someone Do not hesitate to tell How much you love, care, For as these days go onward We can on little depend Even less believe In temporal existence; We lack any guarantees. Still, God sovereign reigns, Even in this mess, we find rest, When we share our love With those who need to know all Is not lost, for together We will build futures, Shoring up the brokenness Living better than before.