Missing My Peace

Across the ocean between
I wonder
Do you wait, or do you go on;
Forgetting you were
The starch that stiffened my spine,
Enough
To stand when I only wanted
To run away and hide.
Now,
Without, I can hardly face
The rising of the sun,
All the troubles we worried,
Surely,
They have come, and without
You, I am drowning
No one to throw a raft.
Mama,
I am supposed to be grown,
But standing here alone,
This world seems less than ever,
My home.

Yet, I am thinking of how I wish
I could make you proud,
Show that what you taught,
I finally learned
Well enough that others could see
The magic you often said
Existed in me.
My courage seems settled –
With your ashes in that urn.
I wilt like a rose denied a drink,
But Mama,
Do you know? Do you know how
I miss you so? Sometimes, just
To hear you say I love you,
To have you give me a hug.
Ah, what comfort it would give.

I cry, and wonder why, because
I was
Taught to be reliable, to hide hurts.
Sometimes I do, but God knows,
I need you, and I can hardly get
A grip on why He took you.
Some have said I can stand
All I must do is work
A plan.
My plans keep washing away
In a deluge of troubles
No barrier erected by me
Can forestall.
I know, I know there is no call
To give up, but I have almost,
Then I remember how you said,
“Believe that you can,” and I try
Again.

I guess if I could reach
Across the divide
Seeing you,
You would remind me
To keep doing my best,
Never give up, study myself,
For the rigor of each test.
You would say, “My love is
With you no matter how far
Apart we seem. Trust in
Love
To feed your heart
And strengthen your mind.
Keep living, you are my dream.”
Okay,
Okay, even though it is harder –
Than, I imagined it could ever be,
I will live, for you gave life to me.

As a prompt, create something about a loss that has affected you deeply and changed your perception. It could be a person, pet, thing, or a time. You choose. You are endowed with creative power, use it.

I hope you will follow or return to Haphazard Creative. I am in the midst of a Creativity Project and would love your input and your continuing support.

Thank you for taking the time to visit. May God richly bless you and all you love.

Quantum Entanglement

You saw me right here
So did the stranger over there,
At the exact same time;
All without my knowing.
She said she knew me,
I said, “Are you certain?”
In Germany, for ten years,
As a teacher, while she was there.
“You must be mistaken, I was here.”
Her brows raised, “No, it was you,
I could never forget you.”
Not the first time, but disturbing.
I lost someone who believed
I was not truthful when
I tried to explain how disorienting
Were the encounters and my life
As I knew it, not coinciding.
I can see sometimes between
The woven ins and outs of
Our reality in ways others may not
Because my mind does differ.
Perhaps I step in between
Not consciously, but as
I can attest the mind is very adept
At functions beyond understanding
Of even the one experiencing.
People are vast, more complex,
Than can be readily intuited.
There is such a lot beyond what
We can begin to process
And only marginally comprehend,
As it was God’s right to intend.

2020.08.11 Mom in Granny Dress rr

There are days when life sends shrapnel through my heart and tries to disintegrate my mind. Missing my Mom today is on that scale.

The poem was of a situation in Sam’s Club one day a while back. Before, we all became strangers in masks. It was not the first. The title comes from the spooky motion at a distance of entangled particles. If it can happen to particles, maybe it happens with humans. I do not know. I just know people tell me I was somewhere I was not from time to time and that they are confident it was me.

As a prompt, create something about an instance where you were told something about yourself that you cannot explain. Or, if you wish, make up a situation where you apply science to your life in an iffy way, and create something.

Discovered

I have searched almost
Everywhere I have ever
Been, for a key
Friend
Who could unlock who
I am and understand.
People have shed light,
Insight,
But no one entirely, clearly,
Reflects the heart, whole
Of me as beautifully
As the ink stains on paper
I have placed with joy,
Rancor.
Sometimes I write with
No real understanding of
Who I may at the moment be,
But later find myself captured
Effortlessly.
Poetry is right in ways
I cannot quite define,
As if life might find
Its measure in a telling
Line or through an accidental
Rhyme found like a crumb
On a velvet sleeve
Deposited
At some point but unnoticed.
We are the poetry of Creation
Written into brief existence
By God, Lord of Eternity,
Who
Must rejoice when we create,
As does He consistently.
I know He knows my totality
And pray for His guidance
As my soul composes love.

As a prompt, create something that relates your relationship to or experience of poetry.

2020.08.11 Sea Birds rr

What Comes After

I believe sometimes destruction is the best path to construction. Being the daughter of a construction worker may contribute to that; I have lived it also.

Lately, I struggled with every single thing. Today, I am in the flow.

It is like that when we are opened up to grow forward. I believe Christ ministers to us most abundantly when we are broken, or He may use the flames to burn off what hinders us.

As a prompt, are you going through reconstruction? Create work that shows what you are experiencing.

©Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

I realized the word accouterments may not show as well as it could. I should scan, but…

Be Encouraged

The gracious sun rose today
Its rays upon the earth to play
With life-giving light to nourish
And illuminate where it fell.

God loves you endlessly and
Extravagantly,
He is forever ready
To intercede.

Children and pets still
Find ample reasons
For JOY as they share
Themselves and their play.

Someone loves you more
Than it is possible
For you
To ever guess or know.

Flowers, trees, birds, bees,
Creatures, foliage, freely grow;
Rivers, oceans, streams, all
Manner of waters sustaining flow.

You have learned volumes
There is so much more to keep
You content in further discovery
As you gain wisdom, so you know.

Music and film,
Books and magazines,
Cater to every taste
And intellectual whim.

Be Encouraged,
You are ALIVE
And life, the living
Is precious.

Life; greater than
Any sum of money,
Or vast collection
Of priceless gems.

Lofty or lowly each
Has reason and purpose,
Station can change in the haste
Of a blinking eye.

Keep hoping, loving, trying,
Bring all you are and remember,
Your blessings always,
For Blessed Beloved You Are.

Years ago when I used typewriters, I used to play with creation in type. I rarely do it on computers and I have no answer why. I do carefully chose typefaces or fonts. Anyway, this is a bit different for me. Again, I borrowed the idea from the moderator in my Journal Writing group.

I hope all of you are having a good evening, or day, as may be. Try to remember love, because love is everything.

Thank you for visiting Haphazard Creative. There is a follow button, or you may come back as time allows.

I am here each day, this is a 365 Creativity Project for the year 2020. I am pleased that so far I have posted at least once each day.