Heart/Soul

Opening the Heart Door

Journal Page with Tanka, Poem, and Illustration
© Jo Ann J. A. Jordan

There are times when showing how things germinate and become seem essential to share. The above is a journal page. I think we all need to know that however our process works, it is okay.

Creativity can be messy. It can also travel in lots of directions to get to an end, and even then, we may wonder what we have. Learning to trust ourselves in our media is why I feel working every day is most important. Even when insecurity and doubt assail us, doing what we love is a refuge and something we cannot give up.

Prompt: Share something you are working on creatively, even if you feel it is still rough around the edges.

Gratitude:
I got up today to sunshine and opportunity.
I found some cool guitar jams.
My workstation.
I have great tools.
Sodas.

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All work on Chronicles and Haphazard Creative are © Jo Ann J. A. Jordan. If you wish to share or use something I have created, please give credit and let me know so I can celebrate.

Life Intrudes

Haphazard Creative has always been a place to share creativity. I have not made much of my life issues here. I am going to now.

I am having a hard time dealing with things. I had a medication change at my last appointment. My doctor and I discussed escalating symptoms.

Since I lost my Mom, it has been increasingly difficult for me to believe I have a purpose. Being alone is not ideal, then going out is hard because I tend to isolate myself. I have trust issues exacerbated by paranoia.

My insecurity and self-censure grow. I am trying to continue a creative practice, but it is steadily more difficult. Dealing with Schizo-Affective Disorder has never been easy, but before, I had family support with me. I could reality check when I needed it. I believe it is why I have thus far survived.

I am trying to get a daytime schedule in the midst of all this, and it is complicating matters. I am typically a night owl.

I have several pain issues too.

Please be patient as I try to get through everything that is taxing me. I am going to attempt continuation, but tonight I feel like creativity is a bit luxurious. I need to survive; living is another level.

Elements may all
Come together to grant dreams
But it sometimes seems
That everything conspires to
Slow progress on every track.

Life’s Illusions

He was endless hope
When her smile dipped beneath tears
Puddled in creases
More rapidly appearing
On her face than ever ought.

Somehow she misgauged
The like he felt even though
She wanted to hold
On to who they were always,
He saw she was far broken.

Each day she kept it
Under control, but lost it
When she realized
She was failing in loving
Him without his loving her.

Almost

Every day of living
Is a dying, like the setting
Of the tangy tangerine sun,
The flesh rails and fails
Symphonies begin, run, pale.
No heart
Remains untainted by the stain
Of Spring’s laughing showers,
Fall’s fading from existence,
We try to find our meaning
In a word, line, stanza.
Nothing is
The reason to continue
When the hollow halls
Never echo, allow glory,
So the poet and singer
Stop trying to persuade.